a story in progress

Let’s start from here,
Lose the past
Change our minds,
We don't need a finish line
Let’s take this chance
Don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn't seem to keep
I don’t care where we go
Let’s start from here

Time seems to flies. Tomorrow is the last day of my semester break. On Monday, it will be the start of my A2 semester. It was a short but well lived holiday. So I have no complaints about it. Of the upcoming new semester that awaits me, I'd say I'm half excited, half jittery bout it. This will be the gateway. The transition point that I have been waiting for.

So let's start from here.

Last Monday, was my trip to Penang National Park along side with Grace, Tze Xin, Stef and Yu Hyuen. (Yikes! I was the only guy amidst four spunky gals!) The entire trip itself was truly remarkable and educational at the same time. After what seemed like weeks of anticipation and rescheduling, the trip to Malaysia's smallest national park finally materialized! Wohooo! That itself seem to be an achievement already.


So our trip began as early as 7.30 in the morning whereby we took the bus from SP to Butterworth's jetty. From there we took the ferry to Penang Island. We reached the national park at approx. 10 in the morning. In which regrettably, we were ripped off by the bus driver who took us from the jetty to the national park located at Telok Bahang. He charged us double the amount that it should be and tried to scam his way through by some sketchy explanation on the the fees. Who was he trying to fool? None of us bought his explanation. But we let it slipped past us anyway. Didn't wanted to make a big fuss out of it then.


Once at the park, we were so awe stuck with the scenery and natural beauty that greeted us. Everything was left to nature's best. The park is well kept indeed. We took the trail from Sungai Tukun across the canopy walk all the way to Pantai Kerachut through a boat ride for our little picnic. Over there we managed to pay a visit to the turtle sanctuary whereby we get to see three baby turtles that were just hatched the day before we got got there. After a much needed rest and a game of SNAP, our next itinerary was some serious, ass kicking jungle tracking+hiking. Argh. Damn tiring lah. With each of us lugging our bags while braving through the obstacle course that Mother Nature decided to throw at us in various forms, ie, the steep hills, fallen trees/branches, muddy banks. It was an unmistakable sign that I need to work back my stamina. *shrugs* However, when we finally made it back to Sungai Tukun from Pantai Kerachut, we realized we didn't have the time to make it to Monkey Beach and subsequently we missed the chance to visit Mukah Head's Light House. Dang! (Another time I suppose?)


Besides the greenery of the park another thing bout the outing that struck a chord with me was how incredibly nice the tourists were. Our first encounter was with a group of friends working in the same company in Dubai. One of them turned out to be an alumni of Secondary Ibrahim and Primary Ibrahim who had kindly offered us a free boat ride with him and his friends! (hence our boat ride to Pantai Kerachut) We also met an extremely friendly couple from Holland whom we all salute. They have some serious spunk to cycle thousands of miles across Europe, go travelling to most places ala backpacking style and not to mention being that loving at such an age. So inspiring but such things especially the latter is almost unheard of over here! *sad* And to top it all, we came across a filming crew in the middle of the jungle! Although, none of really know them at first, but we later came to know the main actor is from the Blogger Boy series. Lol!

We left the park around 5 in the evening. We then went to Mac Calister road for its hawker food. Even the bus ride out of the park, I got the feeling that the bus driver ripped us off by his dubious claim on the fees. Wtf. Luckily, instead of taking the bus back all the way back to SP, we were fortunate enuff to hitch hike Stef's car back albeit the squeezing and lack of leg room. *winks*

All in all, the outing is what I'd call a success. No major hiccups, it was a little adventurous as well as refreshing plus it proved to be a major bonding session. The same question is already running in everyone's head; where to head to next?

PS- All pictures from the above are taken and edited by Tze Xin. I can't seem to hook up my hp to ny pc. Therefore, I can't upload any of my pics.

PS- Something I found while searching for relics of the past. *smiles*

At the moment, my self-esteem is ebbing at the lowest depth possible. I hate the feeling of being so inadequate. I keep on having the notion that whenever I am put on on the brass scale, I hardly measure to an ounce of others. Going through all those form and prerequisites, I am being forcefully reminded of the similar forms that I have filled up less than 9 months ago. Even then, I remember the distinctive feel of being so inadequate. I tried to convince myself, somehow, someway there was a tad of chance that awaits me beyond all of those forms. I actually believed myself to be in the same playing field as everyone else back then.

But heck who was I kidding? The outcome definitely proved to be otherwise.

In spite of that and everything that came before, right now, at this point of my life, I have never been so sure of what I want. Yes. I was lost before. Aimless for the past one year.

I am desperate this time. I have never wanted something so badly in the past. So please, let this come true for once. This is all I am asking for.

So exhausted! Even though I went straight to bed once I got home yesterday, right now I still feel as if I need another 9 hours worth of sleep. Argh. Alas, I am up and awake this morning to catch up on the world. Didn't have any internet access during my trip down to KL for a solid 3 days. Not that I mind though. *winks* Being the uber lazy, inactive and silent lurker that I am, it's only natural right?

Alright, back to the trip. I head down south last Friday with only a backpack in tow for a bit of adventure. You could even say it's my little vacation after what seemed like century since I last had one. My itinerary over there? Hopping from one mall to another. From the public transport to my own two sturdy legs. The only pit stops over there were during makan time and watching movies.

Through out the trip there though it was like a How to be a Jakun 101 for myself, I'm pretty fortunate to have such a briliant opportunity to just step out and be there to see it first hand. A bit overdue if I may add.

PS- Don't have any pics to post here tho. Barely took any through out the trip. Wtf right?

It has been a year. A year ago, together with my fellow fifth formers, we sat for our SPM. It was a real big fuss as far back as I can remember. Being preached, brain-washed and inundated with the sole idea that SPM will be the sole determinant to the road ahead, the thought of having to do well in SPM was naturally embedded into the brain circuit.

Come a year later, a new batch is up and ready to take their SPM this time. Nothing much has changed really from the way I see it. The silence will be broken with a flurry of chatter and "how did it went with you?" once the time is up. There will be parents waiting dutifully for their sons and daughters to finish their paper. Students will be greeted with food and refreshments as soon as they step out from the examination hall.

Albeit with the different people in it, such cycle of idiosyncrasies will definitely go on.

But where does that leave me?

I am still here. Struggling. Struggling to find my own niche. Slowly but surely, I am making pace, am I not? I am leaving behind that cycle to begin a new one. In due time, I will also leave that very new cycle to undertake another one. To put things in perspective, isn't the act of undertaking a cycle is but a part of a bigger cycle?

As I went back to my old school recently, the cycle that I left behind was evident. Though the atmosphere of familiarity is still potent in its essence, the whole thing itself is starting to unravelled. The foreign feeling is setting in. The greetings, the cordiality, the nostalgia. They will all diminish. Inevitably.

*DRUM ROLLS* After weeks of waiting, much spending and stuffing oneself with unhealthy food, I have finally done it! I finally collected all 7 colour of those Mac Donald's Coke Glass!!

Although, I don't wanna exaggerate things and all, but I have to say, am feeling very bangga with self this time! *grins* When I first saw the promotional offer for these lovely cups, I thought to myself, oh, the perky pink is kinda pretty. The lime green isn't half bad too. Perhaps I will get those two? But this is soooo not gonna be a collector thing going on. (previous attempt at collecting Kingdom Hearts got the better out of me)

A month and a half later, I soon found myself having not only to eat a large set of Mac Value meals, I had to eat my own words too. But given any day, I would gladly eat the latter than the former. Thanks to this recent conquest of mine, I will be abstaining from Mac Donald for the time being. I know these glasses are suppose to be free and all, but having to eat through each meal of those large meals with the Sundaes isn't what I would call a bargain. Often I find myself wishing if only I can skip the meals and straight go for the glasses. But capitalism and an excellent marketing strategy dictated by a certain conglomerate decreed that I have to get pass those large 7 meals first. Emphasize on the word large!



And on another random check at Mac Donald's website, it has a page whereby it tells you which colour you represent and the attributes behind the colour. Yours truly falls under the Royal Purple category. Personally, I like Lime Green better (it's refreshing to the eyes!) but meh, I can live with purple too. You can check out your inner-Coke-glass-colour at here too!

Dear All,

After this week's sojourn at SP, I do believe I won't be back until November. The AS exams are just around the corner in which it will be a month of pulun-ning and kiasu-ing.

Updates will be sparse. Or none at all I'm afraid.

With regards,
Kar-Men

Ok, so my last post doesn't really count as a post. Therefore, I'll attempt to write a much longer one for today.

Let's see.. For the moment I am at my home. By tomorrow however, I will be returning to the island. After what seem like a flicker in the eye, turn out to be a drag of 7 weeks since I last went back to SP. Yeah, I do know the drive home is only bout 40 minutes or so (30 minutes if I am sitting the night bus, 25 minutes if I am traveling with my bro/dad) so in that sense I should go home more frequent than this. Yet I didn't. For numerous reasons really. But I only have this to say - I didn't really see the need to go back. I get to do my laundry at my place over there. I have 2 meals and a half each day. Transport is taken care off. Stock and supplies are more than sufficient to withstand for weeks. Except when it comes to snacks like cookies and all. Those stuff, always run out.

The first thing that struck a chord of my belated return is the sight of the Sejati toll. From the distance, every thing still look the same. The same old plain sight I have seen for 13 years is still intact and all. Yet upon closer look, I noticed, there is a new shop selling tudungs. The old poor clinic I passed by each time (which was always empty) is finally closed. The pot holes at the tunnels are getting way bigger and deeper since I could ever remembered them. Among that, there are things that have changed too. Not in physical appearance wise though. More on how I feel and think about them. Those stuff I rather not talk about them at here. Or rather it is because I don't know how to talk bout them.

The second thing that stuck me was when I checked my Facebook and mail. Arguably, in the past (as well as the present and the future) I am not the type to deal much with such social networking websites. No updates. Not much pictures uploaded. No random memes, quiz's etc. Never did much to begin with. Even so, I felt kinda bad for not replying the messages at there. Especially the wishes. I know it is a bit too late, and I should make the effort to contact every single one of them, but I would like to make use of this outlet to thank everyone. Really appreciate it. And so sorry as well for my lack err everything.

Those thoughts aside, I am gonna try to outline my life at college as briefly as possible. Not much to talk about anyway Basically I have classes from Monday to Friday. Classes range from morning till afternoon usually with some classes taking up the whole day which is from morning till evening. Have had my Mid Term exams. Soon to complete my MPW subjects that is Moral Education and Malaysian Studies in two weeks time. By October 12th, my first paper for AS which is Law will commence. From that point onwards, will have exams for a few weeks with my last paper being the November the 11th. Hence, with the phrase time is ticking.

After that I should have a short break of two weeks I suppose. Though I have no net access over there, safe for the in-between-time I spent on the college's computers, passing time is definitely not a problem there. I avoid using the public computers to access personal websites such as Facebook and blogging account. (But in light of the recent feedbacks, I should really make an exception in that rule)

Other those stuff mentioned above, don't really have much things else to write on. I lead a nondescript student's life. *sad* Though if anyone is looking for any movie reviews on the latest movies, he or she can find me. If there is anything I am proud of late, is how I am embracing my inner movie-junkie. *bangganya*

Anyhow I think I will just end today's post at here. Will come up with another post or so if I find the determination/inspiration to do so.

So right now, is a temperate Sunday morning. The sun is shining bright with a clear blue sky. (not gonna rain anytime soon I guess) The atmosphere here is rather serene. No cars or motors speeding pass. No grass is being cut. The tv and radio is off. My digestive system is well on its way digesting the bread and Milo I had for breakfast just now. Ahhh.. So conducive to laze around.

Then again, in an hour or so, would have to soon get lunch and do some last minute shopping for random but much needed necessities. Argh. But I don't feel like leaving the house! I still wanna be idle in my comfort zone. Akloshofialehgo.

On the bright side, at least I'm not in school at the moment, having double periods of MUET, Math, Chemistry and General Studies in a sweat inducing environment that causes my uniform to cling on to my back like some blood sucking leech. No. I'm so not gonna miss those days.

Now for the most shocking revelation of the year! Lim Kar-Men isn't gonna continue his studies in the Sixth Form! He is going off to Penang to do his A Level studies instead! What's more is that he will ditch Science in favour of those Art/Humanities subject! Mwahaha. Now isn't that just plain shocking? Hehehe. It would be if I blog about this last month. By now, most if not all should have at least heard something of this sort. I know this isn't some globally important issue or crisis but heck this is a personal issue and a blog is a personal space. Therefore, personal issues + personal space = spazzing and drama!

Anyhow, away from my disjointed thoughts, my orientation begins tomorrow at noon. From that point onwards, it be a one year programme to fill my head with facts, statistics and many many more stuff deem to be instrumental for my intellectual growth.

Yay! I really can't wait for that. Serious.

Dear Correspondent,

Yes. I am contented.



None. I would not have anything to take back.

I finally get to say this - I pass my driving test today! Thank god, thank god, thank god, thank god... If I am to find a word to sum up how I felt when I get those papers signed by the JPJ officer stating I successfully passed all 3 parts of the circuit driving today would be just one - relieved! I was and still am relieved over the fact I finally managed to get my P license! It should take just about 2 to 3 days at most to process but including delivery to home I am expecting a week?

Anyhow, for those who have read my previous post, you might remember me flopping my driving exam last month on April 20th. However, I didn't blog about my other failure which took place last week on May 19th. At that point, I was resitting for my road driving and circuit driving again. Somehow, I, Lim Kar-Men at that time managed to fail my hill slope again. Though, I did have a small consolation then with me passing my road driving.

So fast track to the present; today, I went for my third JPJ exam (hence the title). My lucky number for today was 83 (with 43 and 51 for the previous exams). I waited and waited till it was almost 11.30 am for my turn to come. When 83 was yelled through the loudspeaker, I walked mechanically to the car indicated. Once on first gear with the clutch gently being released, the accelerator was pressed on. Thump. The Kancil stopped at the yellow line with the front tyres on the yellow line completely. Thank god for that.

With that task out of the way, soon came the much dreaded task - going downhill. After failing twice at this very task itself, it had left behind a very irrational fear. A phobia of the car sliding backwards when the handbrake is being released was embedded into the mind. But alas, for today, that much dreaded thought did not take place. Instead, when the handbrake was released, the car went forward smoothly as if the whole thing was as effortless as breathing to a person. Thank god for that.

The reverse parking and the 3 point turn that came subsequently was done away without much ado. With the documents signed and confirmed, I have finally graduated from the driving school. I shall be a probational driver for the next two years to come. But I am not complaining.

On the contray, I am thankful. So very thankful for it.

Finally, I get to blog.. Apparently Streamyx decided to cut off my Internet line from last Sunday onwards. Reason? Suspected illegal usage or hijacking of line by third party. (or so they say when Mum gave them a call) Aasjdhlakfyaosdhlsd.

Anyhow, I feel there is a need to blog on the chronicle of events taking place from last week till today. On the 10th of May, was Wesak Day. Therefore, prior to it, on the 8th and 9th of May together with a bunch of friends, we went to the Buddhist Association (conveniently located in Petani Jaya as well) to help out. Mostly, we were there to pack goodies into plastic bags (as welfare aids to the folks out there), cleaning up, setting up of the venue, manual labour and also the packing of scented, blessed flower water. On Wesak Day itself, the bunch of us were in charged with handling of food, effectively putting us in the positions of waiters and waitresses for the VIPs on the third floor.

Overall, though the entire affair was tiring and not to mention all were done in the name of voluntary service; one can't shake off that very immensely satisfying and rewarding feeling. Even the very act of dispensing out the goodies and helping to serve the crowd whole afternoon was really a good lesson in humility. A good reminder of being thankful and sincere too. Now why can't attending all those Moral classes ever instill such stuff?

A mental note to self: Should take part more often in activities of such nature in the future.

Besides that, at the same time managed to go support my fellow family/anak-anak/successors for their District Debate. Taking place in the same school as last year as well - SMK Khir Johari. And glad to say, these people won the title! Seeing them debate and going through all those stuff makes me an extremely proud and nostalgic fellow. Blossoming and gaining confidence as well as picking up the rhythm. This is when I am reminded that participating in such co-curriculum activity is way beyond the usual of gaining the needed marks for co-curriculum or for the value of the certificates for that matter. Being a more confident, poise, open-minded etc. That aside, I can finally get to say this - It's your show to run now guys!

Another matter that was cropping up last week was the JPA scholarship. The results are finally out. The coveted scholarship of the year. The hope and dreams of many to board the first available plane to a foreign land. Phoof. Though, people managed to secure it, there were many who did not as well. But seeing over 8000 over were shortlisted for the interview with only 2000 placing to dish out, one can hardly be surprised by the intensity generated by it. But well, for those out there who hasn't heard the news yet, I didn't managed to secured the offer tho. My status was TIDAK BERJAYA.

To be quite honest, I wasn't that taken aback by it or anything of that sort. Have been gearing myself towards such possibility since ever. I am aware after all that this is a scholarship. And being the nature of a scholarship, JPA doesn't owe me anything. In fact, I am pretty aware too that out there, there are like a ton of more deserving individuals with better grades/family background. But it be a blatant lie too, if I don't feel a tinge of bitterness. But oh heck, me will get over it. In fact, i think I'm literally over it by now.

So it was more like another round of Russian roulette for myself. The last one I took part was last year, when the names for NS were out. Back then had the feeling my name would popped out. And it did. This time had the despondent feeling it won't. And it did once more. Ish. I should start becoming a seer or something of that sort la. Who say female only have their intuition?

Had a steamboat gathering on the night of Wesak Day too. It was meant as a last min gathering before each takes off to their respective route i.e, matric and so forth. Had a blast with only RM9 (excluding rental of place, service tax, govt tax as there weren't there in the first place!) to boot. We are so going economical these days.

On a final note, started attending the Sixth Form in my dear old SMK Ibrahim. Orientation week has just ended today. Thank god for it! Alas, it's that all too familiar feeling again.

Yay! A movie review after such a long long time. Jk jk jk. Not to mention I need a proper post. My previous posts did nothing but to highlight my er jobless-ness to even type anything?

Anyway, watched X Men Origins Wolverine on Labour Day. For those who know me, I am not exactly the kid who grew up reading such graphic novels/comic books on X-Men, Superman, Spawn, Watchmen, Spiderman or any other Marvel/DC comics for that matter. Rather, I grew up reading a bunch of Doraemon comic books. Well, Doraemon is more like a manga actually. Anyway, the point is that this review will be based on a non-fanboy perspective.

First thing first, the movie is like 110 minutes in length. So that is like 6600 seconds of Hugh Jackman for all of you out there. Personally, like I mentioned earlier, I ain't a fan of the original comic books out there (not much of a fan of the other 3 films as well, but I did watch all 3 of them) but after watching this film, I get the feeling that this movie is entirely made for Hugh Jackman, by Hugh Jackman and with Hugh Jackman - not necessarily in that order by the way. Hmm, maybe I miss out on the title - X Men Origins Wolverine. So this film is supposedly all about Hugh Jackman!

The assembled cast of course is at the disposal of its main star. Throw in a couple of cliched elements such as a sappy love story, the revengeful yet jealous brother thingy going on, good-guy-gone-bad saga, some stale jokes involving a buff Hugh Jackman, the hack and slash scenes (more like clawing in this case) and the sudden twist of betrayal by the superior, hey presto! You get this movie.


All in all, if you are free, jobless, bored (such as myself) this movie will be okay-la. I suppose for now at least. It does provide some relief from the above syndrome. Just gotta wait for the other summer blockbusters to be out at the mean time.

A mental note to self, never never use the staircase/fire exit in Central Square! That place just screams murder-by-a-drug-addict-and-never-be-found-till-days-later. Oh, the filth and scum in that place.

at Baker's Street
laid a little red shack
selling freshly baked pies
(always at five but not at two)
an assortment of pastries there was;

a fluffy meringue
filled with whipped apricot cream
apple mounded pie crust
covered with latticed cream
frangipane spread with gelatinous jam
of enriched almonds
each giving an enticing fragrance of its own
tantalizing in sight
saliva inducing in mouth

in essence
the little red shack
was the limelight
of Baker's Street
hundreds if not thousands
flooded the street
day to day
for that little red shack

unable to get in line
there i was
stopping by
at the salient green store instead
though it went by unnoticed
i thought to myself -
donuts can't be that half bad!

For all that is worth, I think I miss studying very much. Or at least how it was back then, when all I had to worry was getting through the examinations. One after another. Occasionally, there were other things on my plate. Extra-curriculum activities, teenage angst, domestic issues and so on. They are the part and parcel of life back then.

So fast forward to the present. The year of 09. I am turning 18 this coming August. The year of adulthood. A milestone for maturity. In the eyes of many, at this age, I am suppose to be able to make decisions on my own. To be able to decide what is best for myself. To know what I want and work out for it.

To be honest I don't think the above descriptions describe me in one bit. I would very much like to think of myself in that way. Determined, head-strong and clear headed. Yet, I am making allowances or rather excuses for myself by saying I really do hate this part of the road. Given any day, I will be glad to take a road without juncture any time. Sure junctures are a integral part in life. They are the catalyst to events. They are commencements to another chapter of life. Nevertheless, I still prefer a road with junctures for now at least. Perhaps, years from now, when I am in my forties, maybe then I will truly appreciate the gift of having to choose and differentiate one juncture from another. Maybe then, I will have the maturity, confidence and clarity.

For now, I think this is the best time for a timely reminder for myself of the golden phrase -

A timely reminder indeed.