Misplaced

As I'm typing this post now, I do not have any idea at all as to what is my main idea, elaboration or even examples for this post. I am only typing away because of my sudden desire to post something or anything at all in this blog. The very idea of being coherent is irrelevant.

Ever since I could remember, I always wrote my English essays back in high school with little or no planning at all. Only had a rough idea on what to write based on the question. Often, I would arrive at the concluding paragraph of my essays with a totally different effect I initially had in mind. Most of them being disoriented in nature were in fact disastrous to even be read by the teachers. I wasted too much time fantasizing of some great, stellar plot at the start of the exam only to realize time was ticking away. With the panic and sudden sense of urgency rushing in, I rushed to scribble as much words as possible with the remaining time. Grammar, spelling, tenses and all went by unchecked and uncorrected. The lowest mark I ever get for my free response essay was a 33 (or so) over 50 marked by Pn. Vasanthi. As dumbfounded as I was back then, I knew I deserved that mark in every way possible even as I re-read my essay again right now.

Essay aside, I guess what I was facing back then during the English exams is the same thing as I am facing right now - lost in an attempt to come up with something stellar and thought-provoking that will make people wooed by it to the extent of losing that precious moment. But with an exception. This time having a spell check at hand, ample of time with no particular dateline nor stress to compose that fable composition destined to woo everyone.

Nothing has changed so far.

[Footnote:Will be heading back to Penang in an hour or so. The classes will go on as usual, from Monday to Friday. Do count me to skip the Wednesday and Thursday classes though to make way for Hari Anugerah Cemerlang.]

No More a Frog

So right now, is a temperate Sunday morning. The sun is shining bright with a clear blue sky. (not gonna rain anytime soon I guess) The atmosphere here is rather serene. No cars or motors speeding pass. No grass is being cut. The tv and radio is off. My digestive system is well on its way digesting the bread and Milo I had for breakfast just now. Ahhh.. So conducive to laze around.

Then again, in an hour or so, would have to soon get lunch and do some last minute shopping for random but much needed necessities. Argh. But I don't feel like leaving the house! I still wanna be idle in my comfort zone. Akloshofialehgo.

On the bright side, at least I'm not in school at the moment, having double periods of MUET, Math, Chemistry and General Studies in a sweat inducing environment that causes my uniform to cling on to my back like some blood sucking leech. No. I'm so not gonna miss those days.

Now for the most shocking revelation of the year! Lim Kar-Men isn't gonna continue his studies in the Sixth Form! He is going off to Penang to do his A Level studies instead! What's more is that he will ditch Science in favour of those Art/Humanities subject! Mwahaha. Now isn't that just plain shocking? Hehehe. It would be if I blog about this last month. By now, most if not all should have at least heard something of this sort. I know this isn't some globally important issue or crisis but heck this is a personal issue and a blog is a personal space. Therefore, personal issues + personal space = spazzing and drama!

Anyhow, away from my disjointed thoughts, my orientation begins tomorrow at noon. From that point onwards, it be a one year programme to fill my head with facts, statistics and many many more stuff deem to be instrumental for my intellectual growth.

Yay! I really can't wait for that. Serious.

Life After Death

Dear Correspondent,

First and foremost, I must sincerely apologize for my evident delay on living up to my own words. I made a promise to you a few months back whereby I vowed to publish my two cents worth of thoughts into the regarding topic as how I received it back then on that Island. However, regretfully not only did I fail to live up to those words, I even failed in putting the much needed thoughts into the regarding subject due to many reasons. However I do pray for your kindness and understanding when it comes to judging my past action and also my genuine answers to the pertaining subject which you are soon to read.

Before you are to proceed any further, I pray once more to distract you. Perhaps you might be curious to the very least, on my degree of oddity in treating the topic at hand? Truthfully, I only seek to address the subject at hand with much solemness for what else more does such topic at hand demands but solely the sobriety of the particular individual? Although, I am very much aware, that through that very process, I might ultimately seek to dodge and subtly mask the true nature of my answers.

No matter, from this point onwards I shall offer no more distractions nor feeble attempts of self-justification. I shall dive straight into the crux of the subject.

***

1. What is the one thing you regret not doing?

Not seeing or being with her when she needed us the most. Did not realize back then of the grievous consequences that would be brought forth many years to come later. In a way, that particular incident was the breaking point of an already sadden ship.

2. What is the one thing you regret doing?

Of being discovered and judged by one of the many I care most in the world. What I did led to constant fear and insecurities within me.

3. Who is the last person you'd want to see?

My family. And family to me only means the four of us.

4. What action are you the proudest of?

Overcoming myself. It doesn't deserve a standing ovation or anything of that sort but keeping up to self is dignified in my term.

5. Do you think you've lived a good enough life?

Yes. I am contented.

6. What has been your darkest hour?

When the very institution I am in seem to falter at its very foundation with the ship slowly being sadden to the point of sinking.

7. If you were sent back now, what would you do differently?

To be honest, I would have a lot of things that I would like to do differently. But knowing how it goes in the end, I do believe I won't change a single thing in the end.

8. If you could take back one statement/etc., what would it be?

None. I would not have anything to take back.

9. Why should I let you in?

I am afraid if I am able to reach to that particular point where I am to be asked with such question, I be just too tired to justify nor convince any further. I would simply say, "It's up to you".

10. Are you ready to die?

No. Given an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year or even a decade, I do believe I can never say I am ready for it. But for all that is worth, I have indeed lived a good life so far. Am grateful and contented for it.

***

I am indeed sorry and that once more I must apologize for such shortcoming for I can only do so much in our partaking for now. I shall leave the rest into your wise counsel. And may our next encounter bring our discussion further. I would love to hear your thoughts on this entire subject as well. Till then take care and do send my gratitude to Miss Linda for introducing such a thought provoking subject.

Yours Sincerely,
Respondent

Third Time is the Charm

WOHOOOOOOO!

I finally get to say this - I pass my driving test today! Thank god, thank god, thank god, thank god... If I am to find a word to sum up how I felt when I get those papers signed by the JPJ officer stating I successfully passed all 3 parts of the circuit driving today would be just one - relieved! I was and still am relieved over the fact I finally managed to get my P license! It should take just about 2 to 3 days at most to process but including delivery to home I am expecting a week?

Anyhow, for those who have read my previous post, you might remember me flopping my driving exam last month on April 20th. However, I didn't blog about my other failure which took place last week on May 19th. At that point, I was resitting for my road driving and circuit driving again. Somehow, I, Lim Kar-Men at that time managed to fail my hill slope again. Though, I did have a small consolation then with me passing my road driving.

So fast track to the present; today, I went for my third JPJ exam (hence the title). My lucky number for today was 83 (with 43 and 51 for the previous exams). I waited and waited till it was almost 11.30 am for my turn to come. When 83 was yelled through the loudspeaker, I walked mechanically to the car indicated. Once on first gear with the clutch gently being released, the accelerator was pressed on. Thump. The Kancil stopped at the yellow line with the front tyres on the yellow line completely. Thank god for that.

With that task out of the way, soon came the much dreaded task - going downhill. After failing twice at this very task itself, it had left behind a very irrational fear. A phobia of the car sliding backwards when the handbrake is being released was embedded into the mind. But alas, for today, that much dreaded thought did not take place. Instead, when the handbrake was released, the car went forward smoothly as if the whole thing was as effortless as breathing to a person. Thank god for that.

The reverse parking and the 3 point turn that came subsequently was done away without much ado. With the documents signed and confirmed, I have finally graduated from the driving school. I shall be a probational driver for the next two years to come. But I am not complaining.

On the contray, I am thankful. So very thankful for it.

At My Side of the Fence

It's time to tend my side of the fence with more loving care and tenderness. Not to mention plenty of water and sunshine to make the grass all nice and green too.

That All Too Familiar Feeling

Finally, I get to blog.. Apparently Streamyx decided to cut off my Internet line from last Sunday onwards. Reason? Suspected illegal usage or hijacking of line by third party. (or so they say when Mum gave them a call) Aasjdhlakfyaosdhlsd.

Anyhow, I feel there is a need to blog on the chronicle of events taking place from last week till today. On the 10th of May, was Wesak Day. Therefore, prior to it, on the 8th and 9th of May together with a bunch of friends, we went to the Buddhist Association (conveniently located in Petani Jaya as well) to help out. Mostly, we were there to pack goodies into plastic bags (as welfare aids to the folks out there), cleaning up, setting up of the venue, manual labour and also the packing of scented, blessed flower water. On Wesak Day itself, the bunch of us were in charged with handling of food, effectively putting us in the positions of waiters and waitresses for the VIPs on the third floor.

Overall, though the entire affair was tiring and not to mention all were done in the name of voluntary service; one can't shake off that very immensely satisfying and rewarding feeling. Even the very act of dispensing out the goodies and helping to serve the crowd whole afternoon was really a good lesson in humility. A good reminder of being thankful and sincere too. Now why can't attending all those Moral classes ever instill such stuff?

A mental note to self: Should take part more often in activities of such nature in the future.

Besides that, at the same time managed to go support my fellow family/anak-anak/successors for their District Debate. Taking place in the same school as last year as well - SMK Khir Johari. And glad to say, these people won the title! Seeing them debate and going through all those stuff makes me an extremely proud and nostalgic fellow. Blossoming and gaining confidence as well as picking up the rhythm. This is when I am reminded that participating in such co-curriculum activity is way beyond the usual of gaining the needed marks for co-curriculum or for the value of the certificates for that matter. Being a more confident, poise, open-minded etc. That aside, I can finally get to say this - It's your show to run now guys!

Another matter that was cropping up last week was the JPA scholarship. The results are finally out. The coveted scholarship of the year. The hope and dreams of many to board the first available plane to a foreign land. Phoof. Though, people managed to secure it, there were many who did not as well. But seeing over 8000 over were shortlisted for the interview with only 2000 placing to dish out, one can hardly be surprised by the intensity generated by it. But well, for those out there who hasn't heard the news yet, I didn't managed to secured the offer tho. My status was TIDAK BERJAYA.

To be quite honest, I wasn't that taken aback by it or anything of that sort. Have been gearing myself towards such possibility since ever. I am aware after all that this is a scholarship. And being the nature of a scholarship, JPA doesn't owe me anything. In fact, I am pretty aware too that out there, there are like a ton of more deserving individuals with better grades/family background. But it be a blatant lie too, if I don't feel a tinge of bitterness. But oh heck, me will get over it. In fact, i think I'm literally over it by now.

So it was more like another round of Russian roulette for myself. The last one I took part was last year, when the names for NS were out. Back then had the feeling my name would popped out. And it did. This time had the despondent feeling it won't. And it did once more. Ish. I should start becoming a seer or something of that sort la. Who say female only have their intuition?

Had a steamboat gathering on the night of Wesak Day too. It was meant as a last min gathering before each takes off to their respective route i.e, matric and so forth. Had a blast with only RM9 (excluding rental of place, service tax, govt tax as there weren't there in the first place!) to boot. We are so going economical these days.

Pictures courtesy of Tze Xin brought to you by "The Citizens of the Same Kampung" project.

On a final note, started attending the Sixth Form in my dear old SMK Ibrahim. Orientation week has just ended today. Thank god for it! Alas, it's that all too familiar feeling again.

The Origin of Kuekuatsheu

Yay! A movie review after such a long long time. Jk jk jk. Not to mention I need a proper post. My previous posts did nothing but to highlight my er jobless-ness to even type anything?

Anyway, watched X Men Origins Wolverine on Labour Day. For those who know me, I am not exactly the kid who grew up reading such graphic novels/comic books on X-Men, Superman, Spawn, Watchmen, Spiderman or any other Marvel/DC comics for that matter. Rather, I grew up reading a bunch of Doraemon comic books. Well, Doraemon is more like a manga actually. Anyway, the point is that this review will be based on a non-fanboy perspective.

First thing first, the movie is like 110 minutes in length. So that is like 6600 seconds of Hugh Jackman for all of you out there. Personally, like I mentioned earlier, I ain't a fan of the original comic books out there (not much of a fan of the other 3 films as well, but I did watch all 3 of them) but after watching this film, I get the feeling that this movie is entirely made for Hugh Jackman, by Hugh Jackman and with Hugh Jackman - not necessarily in that order by the way. Hmm, maybe I miss out on the title - X Men Origins Wolverine. So this film is supposedly all about Hugh Jackman!

Do not be fooled by this picture! It is all about Hugh Jackman. (but in case you are wondering, yes the second guy from the left is Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas)

The assembled cast of course is at the disposal of its main star. Throw in a couple of cliched elements such as a sappy love story, the revengeful yet jealous brother thingy going on, good-guy-gone-bad saga, some stale jokes involving a buff Hugh Jackman, the hack and slash scenes (more like clawing in this case) and the sudden twist of betrayal by the superior, hey presto! You get this movie.

It's all about the spades and clubs.

All in all, if you are free, jobless, bored (such as myself) this movie will be okay-la. I suppose for now at least. It does provide some relief from the above syndrome. Just gotta wait for the other summer blockbusters to be out at the mean time.

A mental note to self, never never use the staircase/fire exit in Central Square! That place just screams murder-by-a-drug-addict-and-never-be-found-till-days-later. Oh, the filth and scum in that place.