a story in progress

This might come in as a bit stale, but we won the district level debate!

The final was against SMK Bakar Arang. The whole debate itself was like deja vu. A complete repeat of last year final (minus the irksome and barbaric nature of the entire proceeding itself). But you know what? I manage to earn myself another nickname. Not only I am label as a proud peacock, I now have rude and impudent under my belt.

But thanks to that, I now have sufficient fuel to complete the upcoming laps. Funny how things manage to slingshot itself and hit you right back at your forehead ain't it?

The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark. - Babara Hall

Putra, if you are somehow reading this don't get mad, okay? I can't find a better way of expressing how I feel right now, other then your fav phrase of "Oh My Dear!" (seriously)

Tomorrow, will be our final practice prior to our District Debate Competition. Somehow, have this very very mix rojak feeling inside me. Part of me, what to just do it *cough-Nike*. Where as, another part of me feel, as if I'm not doing as much as I should/could. And of course, mix with a dash of euphoria, stress, hesitance and reluctance is enough to make anyone puke. I mean can a perfectly ordinary human being have that much taking place in his brain (or stomach in this case)?

And another worrying fact would be I just realized at today's practice, Putra is bitten by some fever or flu bug. While Ben has a brother who is currently having chickenpox while he is yet to have it. Me who is currently suffering from an on and off running nose and a slight fever. And Vj who is somewhat bulmic right now.

If on Sunday, somehow or someway we are all miraculously down.....

I hate to imagine what will happen.

Well at least according to the teachers, it's normal to be (or feel) abnormal right now. But somehow, I am not buying that. I mean, I don't remember the 5 of us to being like that. In fact, now that I look at it, last year's journey seems as if we are making it up as we go along. Kinda niffty, now that I look at it.

I suppose all these are the tides before the storm, eh? (or is it another tempest brewing up?) Either way, there is nothing much to do right now, but just to go for it!

And also to ' Pa ma lung ana bu ti ke' the other teams as well!!! *grins*

Till then, there won't be any new updates. Wish us luck, will you?

Today is a very, very strange and not to mention an awkward day. It was a mixture of jiwang-ness which also mean emo-ness (in English) and also a self realizing (or shall I say an enlightening) moment of my life.

I admit I am an introvert. And for the being the cynical introvert that I am, I don't open up that easily. So when I decided to speak up today - it was kinda funny, uncomfortable and yet it has that dash of familiarity in it.

It started with me discussing (more like contemplating) about the prospect of the team for what seems like a gazillion time with Ben. Of late we kept on having these kind of discussions, which I have to admit brought in more questions than answers in them.

After of our very long walk to the front of the school gate and all the way back to our 'all-holy-room', we decided it's time to be outright honest with the others. (Or at least I think so?)

First it was Vijay. Then, the same thing was repeated to Putra. I would love to say it was a heart to heart talk where we finally get to iron up all the reluctance, issues and hesitance pent up among ourselves but the real solution came in the form of a girl who calls herself an oyxmoronic rubber ball of cheer. (yes you know who I am talking about!)

The answer was simple, direct and straight-to-the-point.

I can now proudly admit, there aren't anything left holding us back to run that 400m 400X5m race!

Thanks everyone!


PS-And thanks for the timely wake up call! I really need a good smack on my head back then!
PPS- And to my personal belief, I think Ben need one too. Right, Ben? *poke*

Okay, I have to admit my previous post is indeed kinda negative. But heck is there a time in this little pet project of mines, where there isn't a single shred of negativity/sarcasm/cynicism? If you are looking for some blissfully fictitious tale on life, then I'm afraid you are in the wrong place right now. Feel free to disengage yourself of such nonsense.

For today's random segment, I shall enlighten my dear readers on the woe(s) one has to endure living in Petani Jaya. You wanna know what are those 2 woes of mines?

1. Horny bunch of cats making out/fighting/god-knows-doing what in the middle of the night.
2. The very inconsiderate bunch of factories nearby polluting the environment on a daily basis.

It seems of late the stray cats in Petani Jaya have an inextinguishable passion towards the art of copulating in the vicinity of my house. And on an interesting note, not only these bunch of cats (some are house pet while mostly are the stray cats) love making out, they apparently like a healthy dose of cat fights. Nevermind the occupants living in the surrounding area, these cats really love making all sort of strange noises while doing well, what they love doing.

On the other hand, we also have the rampant air pollution going on. Over the years, sad to say, it has been noted that there is an noticeable 'increase' in the level of air pollution. Rain or shine, (rain in particular) the factories never fail to supply us residents with a healthy dose of -

• ammonia
  
  
• carbon monoxide
  
  
• nicotine
  
  
• nitric oxide
  
  
• hydrogen cyanide
  
  
• mercury
  
  
• tar
  
  
• toxic trace metals
  
• and some other materials which I don't-know-what
  

So there you go ladies and gentlemen. Health hazard much living in Petani Jaya? Not really as I'm sure the above problems (perhaps even more dire ones) can be found somewhere else. I should be glad actually. The price for development, eh?

The above describes my feeling exactly. Why is that I get this nagging feeling in my head that the bunch of us are going down hill rather than running up that hill? Is it because we worked better back then? Is it because we were binded by some weird bond that was nonsensicality? Or is it because we are missing you?

I seriously won't know how to deal with it should that moment come knocking at my door once again. I'm clueless and lost. I'm confused with what the others want. Confused with myself. And me going to school today didn't make me feel any much better. Instead, it only serve as a reminder how pathetic foolish I can be.

I know most of the above doesn't make much sense. But I doubt my 17 years of life on this earth made much sense anyway.

Whoooo!!!!!!!!!!!

My Internet is finally back!!!!!!!

That would be so cool if I had actually posted today's entry about approximately 4 days ago.

Well, due to exams and the usual monopolizing going on in my home, I doubt today's post will come off with any surprise. =.="

Anyway, have loads to catch up upon! I have forgo my poor little drama series for far too long! I shall do it justice my finishing the remaining 7 episodes in one go! I shall have to update my playlist and anime download as well!

Now to take a dive into the highly-nonsensical, bizarrely weird and seemingly un-eventful life of this blogger. (In case you are wondering, yes, I'm well aware all the above adjectives above are highly contradictory.)

First there was the shortest camp I ever attended/participated/enrolled or forced upon. It was a supposedly "kursus kepimipinan" organized by the school counselling department which turn out to be a dry,boring series of lectures. Yours truly over here, actually yawned like a gazillion times which were all convincingly covered up except for that one time during the effective "komunikasi session" where the lecturer actually spotted me yawning. And all of a sudden, I became her example on how to communicate effectively. Don't ask me how she managed to relate those two together as I'm still clueless about it. The food however was an entirely different matter. Within that 24 hour camp, we actually had about 7 to 8 meals!

Next, was our April tropical exam. I'm, starting to get the feeling that all these years under the Malaysian education system, we are actually trained to be numb to all the hours we spend sitting in our comfortable seats. Yes, you know which part of the body I'm referring to. SO there you go, who say we aren't learning anything under our present system?

Anyhow, for now, I shall have to leave today's post as it is.

Time is running out!

So it's finally April, eh? Guess you don't need another reminder about how time flies right? I have this notion that, the phrase, "time flies" has and will continue to be used uncompromisingly in the near future. It's more like a mental note to myself. A mental note on a virtual note to remind myself but at the same to serve as an annoying reminder to other as well.

Am I being nonsensical again? Must I even ask?

Anyway, gonna be pretty tied up for the weeks to come. A supposedly leadership camp to participate, debate(s) to prepare and trash out and the April test to prepare. So a pretty exciting month don't you think so?

To be honest from this point hence forth, I'm not really sure what is there for me to blog about, so I will just have to blog something that comes directly to my mind. Another part in life, we call spontaneous writing.

First we have the insecurities. What insecurities you may ask? Well, this insecurities encompasses all. It can be every single shred of doubt one may have about himself or about other thing/stuff/people or just a mere hesitance on an issue. I once (more like a gazillion times) watched this debating video. The speaker came up and said "There are 3 types of truths. Your truth, my truth and everyone's truth.." But I have to say, in this case - my insecurities, I can't dogmatically profess it's everyone's insecurities.

Therefore, it will just be my problem against everyone or everything.

Insecurity no 1: In an sociological relationship. Why do we trust people when we know that there will always be a chance of them lying or betray our trust? Because of our ignorance? Our hopeful nature that they won't? Or is it because we know they can, and will do so, but choose to let it be? Or perhaps we don't have an option to begin with.

Or even perhaps I'm doing the same thing as everyone out there is doing.

Insecurity no. 2 : The lack of faith/confidence with oneself. I know I can do it. I did it. But still, it will always sound weak and hallow to oneself. Why is it so? Is it course we believe we can do better? Or that we SHOULD have done better? Clueless about that one.

Insecurity no. 3 : The future. Honestly, I believe more people will agree with me on this one. Most of the time, (I repeat most of the time) we know what we are doing. And we are working towards it. But still, when the thing comes right up to your face which in this case the future, tomorrow or call it whatever you may please, are we REALLY prepared for it? Sometimes, we are pleasantly shock by it. Sometimes disappointed by it. In this case, can we still say we know what we are involving ourself into? When the only thing certain bout tomorrow is about the uncertainty itself?

I guess that's enough ramblings for now.

I shall simple end today's post with lyrics from this song which I find myself strangely addicted to;

Honesty...
Is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.

Honesty...
Is hardly ever heard.
But mostly is what I need from you.

Can anyone guess what song it is?