a story in progress

Hey guys!! Uploaded all these with a goal in my mind! That is to keep this everlasting or sweet memories in one way or another which I will never forget! At least not in the long run,yeah? As I upload them.... I am filled with so many feelings within me.... Joy,excitment,relieve and so on..... Remember the old saying where a picture tells a thousand tales? Well in this case it is definetly true!!!

And oh yeah, Amy..... Not really sure if you still remember a not but..... I once posted in your blog comenting on your 'sweet memories'..... It goes something like this-

lol..
really love all those all pics...
u can really call them ur sweet memories..
unfortunately i dont have dat much pics of myself or with any1 for dat matter..
i doubt i even have that much 'sweet memories' also..
well i suppose i gotta look harder for them in the future..
don't u think so?
lolz...

Well, I can now proudly say that.... I have found parts of my sweet everlasting memories!!!

And to my dear Joo Joo ah.... Wish you a fast recovery yeah? Next time dont be worried or anything of that sort.... Just let us know ok? We will be there for you as you have always been there for us!

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow
Just walk beside me and be my friends

Let me start this by stating.... I am back!!! Quite fast ain't it? Without realization, it has been already 5 days or so since I last updated this blog.... Before this I was like expressing my eagerness in getting myself to Sarawak and all that.... But here I am.... Once again, in front of my computer screen, busy taiping the keyboard while listening to those very familiar songs of mines over and over again.....

Now to get into business.... Long story cut short.... Our debating consisting of Ben,Putra,Vj,Mani and myself lost in the quater finals to Selangor.... The last wasn't because we were horrible or outright stupid.... Rather the judges incompetence was the main reason we lost.... The result was 3-2.... Apparently out of the 16 teams participating.... The Kedahan's were the only ones to actually uphold and adhere to the parlimentary style debate.... I repeat.... Parlimentary style debate!!

When the result was anounced, we were in a total satate of denial and disbelief.... Ben and Vj were like so blur together.... Mani and Putra broke into tears.... I was just somehow depressed in a state where I just sat there at my place for the next one hour or so.... If we had lost to a better team.... That I supposed it wouldn't be so depressive..... But for once the losing team which is us once again.... The so-called-farmers were actually getting the whole support from the crowd which mainly consisted of boys from St Joshep and St Thomas.... Everyone were expecting us to win!!!

Sighhhhh..... Guess it wasn't meant for us anyway.... The bright side from this would be? Well.... At least we had time for us to actually enjoy our remaining two days in Kuching.... Went sight-seeing at all sorts of places over there.... Bought plenty of stuffs over there.... Meet loads of other crazy debaters throughout Malaysia.... Everyone were like so friendly and warm each other.... And of course this went really well especially for Putra and Vj.... Had a chance to see them party-ing through out all day and night!

By the way.... Just in case anyone is intrested, the Sabah team won over the Selangor team at the finals to emerge as the national champion.... To be honest all of us felt they deserve it compared to the Selangor's.... To be honest, they were good in their very own way.... You know being polish and polite throughout the debate... That honestly deserve some credit!

The final day of debate itself was ended with a prize giving ceremony and also he usual formalities which are speeches and performances by the stuents of course.... AT least that went on quite well compared to having to witness the others debate.... After that most teams went to the airport.... Nost of us actually chnaged in the airports.... I mean lets be realistic over here.... Will you wear your uniform in a international airport? Hahaha......

So in a nutshell.... This trip wasn't what I expected it to be..... It was WAY much better than I expected! Even though we lost..... We lost with our pride intact..... Managed to meet with people from all walks of life..... Making friends as we go a long.... In fact the sad part wasn't us losing or some sort.... Its the thought of this being the last part of all of us in a team debating..... For Mani, she kept on saying her debating carrier has come to an end while ours were at a standstill for now..... Yea.... That was the saddest part in this trip for me....

However I would also like to post a shou out to everyone here.... Whom had supported us the whole debating team,even at the very begining of debate itself.....
To our dear Sir,Pn Jac,the H.M.,the ex-debaters,the researchers and of course the supporters themselves!
Mum,dad and bro....Thank you for being there for me!
Friends, you guys gave me that much emotional support to carry on with debate!
And lastly to my teammates, Putra,Ben,Vj and Mani..... You guys will always have a special place in my heart...The time we spent together will never be forgotten or the least burried deep within me....

From here,I sincerely bid everyone the very best in the future.... Remember,everything happened with a reason.... May you find the sliver lining from the within itself!


Quotes to share:

"It has been a journey of experience,
A journey filled with nostalgic,
A journey worth telling over and over again."

(As quoted by the very pioneer of Parlimentary stlye debate himself, YAB Datuk Panglima Wira Abdul Arshad)

Yea, I know..... Eulogy is actually meant for the dead or for the deceased.... And no I am not refering to myself as a dead person.... Just somehow I felt that this blog entry is more like a reflective kind.... The one which gives you a recap of what happen so far in my life and all those around me..... Kinda like leaving a will,eh?

Any way.... Yet to do my packing for my trip to Sarwak which is tommorrow by the way!!! It seems that I am so hooked up to my computer of late.... Kept on watching dramas and anime on youtube.... After that, kept on downloading those jap and chinese songs from everywhere throughout the net.... Still downloading as we speak.... Things couldn't have gotten any better you ask? Well, there is this television in my room with a ps one console attached to it.... So yea, it cann't get any better for me during this holiday! I am loving my life.... Every second of it.... Even though almost everyday gotta go to school but is worthwhile isn't it? Beside compared to others, their life is even more hectic than mines.... Take Vj and Putra for example.... They gotta juggle two things at once! Really don't know how you guys managed it.... And by the way, wana take this opportunity to wish all those in choir good luck, yea? Regardless of who you all are facing, just try your very best yea? I am sure our choir president would want the same thing!

Sighhhhhh..... Two weeks kinda passed quite fast ain'it? Tommorw is finally here! Again as I mentioned before, no matter what happen.... As long as we all try our best than its okay already,right? That much to gain from all this!



Quote to share:

"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way!"

Pride.... Something we all have and definitely wish to attain or at least kept sake in our lives.... Which really makes you wonder.... What if a person were to get too much of himself in his head? In other words being too arrogant or too proud with one's talent.... One will definitely face this 'pride' in his life.... Either in the form of obnoxious people or he may even find himself in it!

But thats one tale I am told and reminded constantly not to be.... And just today itself.... I once again hear the tale of the pride which came before a fall.... Sad and ironic actually.... It invovles people with talents and charisma.... They were in fact on their very own journey to sucess,fame and reconginiton....
But alas.... It wasn't a happy ending in of their numerous chapter of life itself.... Lost every ounce of their dignity or proclaimed 'pride' at the end....

Yet with pride there will always be prejudice.... As the two of them go hand in hand.... I hoped that neither of us ever need to meet those two again.... At least not in a pair,right? Some people out there might not understand what I am trying to imply over here but I suppose in time.... All will be made clear....

It really makes you wonder doesn't it?

Yesterday at tution,nearly felt like crying.Somehow my eyes seem to be watery and I know it wasn't because I am sleepy or something like that.I just hold on.As soon as I got back home,I really tought to myself.'What was that emotion that I just felt rushing through me?' perhaps its just that I am thinking too much.I can seriously admit something.During Additional Math class, I used to think more than any where else.Perhaps you can say my mind wondered off easily especially during Add Math tuiton.But it's nothing much to be worried about guys.I am just doing my stuff as usual..Thinking that is..I used to think as (still thinking) I have total control of every aspect of my life.From my lifestyle to my attidude.I used to pride myself with my own sense of maturity.However, yesterday's incident last year's one clearly proves me wrong.I wonder.How long will I keep on telling myself I have control?Lets be honest to ourselves, why don't we?How much is my 'control' over my own life?

Thats what been bugging me for awhile..

But on a lighter note..

Exam,exam,exam.Thats what I have been hearing,doing and thinking about for this two weeks.Gotta admit,this is the longest exam/test I ever had in my life!My I suppose overall it didn't turn out that bad as expected.I was thinking and kept on saying I am gonna fail,fail,fail.But now who cares already?Its over for now.And the best part about yesterday is going out for a movie right after my exam.Sure the movie that we watched wasn't as exciting nor half-the fun of Pirates of the Carribean.But I am getting to there!Tommorow if all well that ends well that I should be able to watch it..Hehe (so god damn excited).Yet yesterday wasn't that bad was it?Had a very smooth and one of a time outing trip since a very long time.So I am really glad about it. For once if I can avoid politics I will avoid it with every effort for it.

Andof course with the holiday begining.everyone is busy with their routine already.Well so am I any way.its a busy,busy little world that we all live in.Time and tide wait for no one!

By the way below there is a clip for all you people to enjoy.Its one of my few personal favourite song Flavor of Life-Ballad Version- by Utada Hikaru.This songs compares life to a Green Peper tempura.A manifestation of Utada's emotion is potray through this song.Me just love it!

Finally,managed to squeezed some time to update this blog.It seems like a very long time already where I actually blog on my daily happenings..

Well of late been busy with the debating competition.In fact it has been bout 3 months already since I first joinned the team.Sweet memories I suppose.Any way,before I start getting all emotional, gotta blog this down..

We are going to Sarawak!!!!!

Hehe..Well,going there is for the national level already.Somehow, still couldn't believe that all of us managed to get this far..Its not that I am trying to be modest or some sort.Its just that I never didn't imagine it would went such a long way.But nevertheless its indeed a collebrative and collective efforts between the 5 of us,the teachers,the supporters and certainly my family members and friends!

But to be honest..I felt that there is a need for me to clarify something..

If it weren't for Putra and Manimaalini on the final round of the state level,we wouldn't most likely made it to Sarawak already.In fact I screwed up my part as the 2d speaker so badly that I am amazed nobody actually comented or curse me..

Although everyone told me it was the mike problem (which so happens to broke down when it was my turn to speak) and also it was my first time anyway that causes me to be so...panic..awfull..crapy..and so on..That wasn't the primary reason..I gotta admit..I panic.Maybe becoz I am having a stahe fright or something like dat.But still..I guess what over is over already, rite?Glad my failure didn't screwed the team up..Perhaps lady luck was on our side becoz those Kulim guys weren't that ahem (good is the right word I suppose).If it were those Asma girls that we are facing on final and having me as the Goverment 2nd speaker..Than we are a gonner for sure.

However,on that day itself..Felt really touched and emo at the same time..Coz everyone was so supportive of us..The teachers...the past debaters..the supporters..and so many more..Haha..Actually shook hand and huged a quite a few people before heading for the one hour quarantine..Even on the stage we were holding each other hand..I suppose I gripped the others the hardest..Well..to overcome my nervousness at that time I suppose..And when the result was announced everyone was screaming,jumping and hugging each other..I had my share of hugs,yelling and hand-shaking again..

Overall..For the past months..Learnt many stuff..What is it like to work as a team..What was it like to have such a huge stake and to be dependent on..How did it felt to win..All of these..Certainly shall not be forgotten..

But at the same time..There is definitely a need to reddem myself..To actually being able to carry my own weight..Or not..I wouldn't be able to face all of you..Especially the four of you!

I mean we went this far already,right?
We also gave up on so many things,right?
Yet gaining that much at the same time.
And not forgetting the hope that the others have on us..

So let us all go for it and give it our best,yea!

I used to think as long as I know what I want in life and if I am willing to work for it..Than everything else should fall in its respectively place..Even failure or sucess can be pre-determined..Nothing would be out of its place..In fact,I have been runing life on this principal as long as I could remember..

But..At the end..Somehow..Someway..Things didn't turn out the way it was expected..The way I calculated and pre-determined..No doubt the result was unavoidable..But..I thought I could accept things as it is..

The truth is that..I couldn't..Uncertainty will always be there..No matter how hard I tried to convince myself.. Ever looking for reasons to cloak myself..Yet ultimately..The fool is me and it is me alone who shall bear it..