a story in progress

It’s the time once again, where people display their patriotism with much eager and excitement. Flags are erected from the most common places to even the unlikeliest of places. Cries of “Merdeka” are heard almost everywhere. Yes, all this signifies the approaching Independence Day of our beloved country. In fact, it’s going to be our 50th Independence this year. A memorable occasion indeed where people are at their patriotic best.

Yet patriotism is a highly debatable subject. It’s a subject worth reasoning and questioned. As it is through this process we are made better then who we are before. I believe this process is called as “meta-thinking”. Without any shadow of doubt patriotism is a crucial element for our nation. Without it, we wouldn’t even be celebrating our Independence Day today. We wouldn't gained our very freedom from those colonial eras where our people have suffered so greatly.

So it’s only normal for one to express his love or his patriotism by doing his bit when our 50th Independence Day approaches. Flag waving has indeed proven to be one of the most popular forms of expressing one’s patriotism and it is highly applauded. In fact, I would be going to school tomorrow to do my bit in this joyous occasion by joining the “Merdeka” procession around my schooling area.

But then again, by doing all of these, can one truly be counted as being patriotic? How about those who couldn’t even be bother to purchase a flag to be hung at their house or even to their own cars? Are they consider unpatriotic? How about those who rather sleep in on Merdeka morning? Are these people unpatriotic? The list can go on and on. The arguments can be long winded. Raging from scandalous acts to trivial matter.

A perfect example would be on today’s news. In our very own Dewan Negara itself, a heated argument was erupted when several Members of the Parliament did not stood up following to the cries of “Merdeka” by the other Members of the Parliament. A war of words was then issued on whether one is patriotic enough in the first place.

Yes, it is highly debatable when it comes to patriotism. Some can be skeptical, or even outright obsequious. What ever happen to the very basis of this country which it is built upon? Trust? Tolerance? Understanding? Why does one even bother judging or passing comments on whose patriotic or not?

It is certainly not our right to do so, as each one of us might have our own different method of expressing our patriotism. Perhaps even in a less showy manner. Let us all us just truly enjoy what it means to be a Malaysian and celebrate our nation’s 50th Independence Day in our very own unique manner.

Another round of pop quiz! If a person were to ask you this;

"Given the choice of being good or doing good."

Which one will you go for? Is it being good or doing good? At a first glance, this two are almost alike. But if one were to look more carefully, being good would mean that one's morality is high and he or she will be able to abstain from committing any sins or breaking the law. Doing good however means, that through a simple act of helping others in any way possible, such as donating for a worthy cause,helping the less fortunate and so on. So there is a clear line separating those two.

The very reason I pose such question is because, of late I been reading a few religious themed books. (can't think of a better name for this kind of books). And one of them has a very interesting sub-chapter or verse in other word. It tells that one must be good and not just to do good. According to the author doing good can be motivated by acquisitiveness, desire for merit, bliss, haven, reward or motivated by fear of punishment and retributions. "Being good' is supposedly the true morality.

If one were to think upon these words, (which I did) isn't all this philosophy very idealistic and wholesome indeed? In fact is it too ideal for reality? You be the judge of it. But the very point that I wish to stress over here is that, doesn't one need to be good in the first place to do good??! Yes, without any shadow of doubt we tend to be motivated by other reasons (reasons which aren't as noble as it seems) to do good, but aren't we still considered being good in the first place? So, can one truly say being good is better then doing good? (when it appears that these two tends to compliment each other rather then to diverge at a point)

Haha. Guess I am rambling or talking bout nonsensical stuff once more. It seems that I am prone to do that. (more frequent of late) But guess all these hardly matter any way. For all are just questions that are meant to go unanswered.

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On a lighter note, tomorrow my school is having "Feista Ko-kourikulum". Selling some stuffs for Club Astronomy. Hope everything goes smoothly as planned tomorow. The plus side would be that I get to skipped all those boring assembly and speeches by coming in about 8 something. On the excuse of having to run errands for my club's stall outside. Haha

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And another random online quiz which I did quite some time ago. Kinda accurate I suppose;

Yes, it’s the holiday season once again. Holiday a simple term referring to a break with an allocated timeframe. It might mean little to some, but to others it’s one heck of a big deal. For those who are currently employed, it might mean a break from their work, free from all those working stress. Yay! To a normal student however, a holiday would be something to look forward to. A time to sleep in late at night. Waking up at irregular hours. Doing practically anything they want. Yes. SO splendid indeed. Who on earth on their right mind then would want to skip all of that?!

But then again, after quite some time going through all those countless holidays (yes, I actually lost count on how many holidays I actually had, even though I am only a sixteen years old kid) ,you would eventually come to your senses. Holiday, such an overrated term indeed. As I am busy typing away these post, I am currently undergoing my one week worth of holiday. Three days of my holiday has gone by (excluding today). And yet am I to experience any sense of serenity or peace. I am neither relax nor refresh. I have yet to accomplish anything significant within these little timeframe of mines (and others as well). Rather I have been spending my time with some fooling around, surfing the World Wide Web, chatting with others online, catching up on my reading and that’s it! Sounds very uneventful and nonsensical doesn’t it? Well guess holiday ain’t all that I suppose? Overrated indeed it has.

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On a lighter note however, I did managed to watch Rush Hour 3 today. I know it’s been around the cinema for quite some time already, but oh well. It clearly shows that I am outdated with the latest happening and require a remedial class on being ‘in with the trend’ immediately! With sarcasm aside, lets talk about the movie once again shall we?

To be honest, I am yet to even watch Rush Hour 1 or Rush Hour 2 before. (gasp!) So here I am, entering the cinema with others telling me before hand that they prefer the prequel better or they felt that the sequel was way better then the previous installments. However, I am in no position to critize this show of course but I felt it was somehow fine with me as it did manage to get a few laugh out me which I am desperately in need of it anyway. (according to others that is)

If someone were to ask you a question, obligation over responsibility. Which one will be of greater importance? But before you attempt to answer that, allow me to first define those two key words. For it is essential for you to first understand what I am trying to say.

'obligation' means 'an act or course of action that is demanded of one, as by position, custom, law, or religion'

'responsibility' means 'a requirement to take some course of action bound by laws,moral and the norms of society'

Now that we have some clarity on that matter. What say you? Obligation or responsibility? I do not know about your choice, but I find that at times (well most of the time actually) I am forced to take both head on. Confused? You should be. For I am too in a state of confusion and denial. Why do we even have to choose from either one of them in the first place? I am often indecisive. Whenever I am forced to determine the next course of action in my life, I am always forced to consider all the other factors before hand. The inconvenience factor, the time factor, the money factor, other people's feeling and so on. And NO I am not being too coward to take any move nor am I 'thinking too much' (even though I have a history on doing so). Its just that I could never live with my own decisions if I just acted on my impulse. And the best part (or the worst part in this case) would be that, I will have Guilt and Regret to haunt me for the rest of my life.

A typical pointless scenario of it would be...

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Bro : You wana follow me to Penang?

Me : Sure, why not? It would be fun right? Oh, wait.... We haven't ask mum on this matter yet.

Bro : Never mind, we can ask her now.

Me : Mum, can I go to Penang?

Mum : (giving you that very worried look) I am just not sure dear. It would be very inconvenient. There would be no one to pick you up as your Dad is so busy with his work right now. Not to mention your brother have to attend his classes in college. I need you to follow me to Alor Star to see your grandparents too.

Bro : I don't mind taking care of Kar-Men. There is food in the apartment, and I can drive him around the island if he want and of course to the ferry when its time to go back to SP. Beside he can just watch a bunch of DVD while I am in college. I am sure that will keep him occupied then. (rather true actually, as my Bro has an entire DVD collection over there)

Mum : Why are you encouraging your brother to go there so much?!

Bro : Why are you dis-couraging him from going there so much?!

After much arguing and minor dispute among the two of them....

Mum : Fine then its up to you to decide, Kar-Men!

Me : Erm... Well, seeing all these inconvenience, I might as well go some other day then.

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Its only today, ( a day after my bro left for Penang alone) my mum receive a phone call from my grandmother. Another long conversation is striked up once again. This time more fiery then before. ( but I will just skip that, okay? ) Grandpa is up to his usual health problems again. It seems that its even more urgent then before for me to rush down to Alor Star tomorrow with my mother.

So in case you are wondering why does all this have to do with obligation or responsibility mentioned earlier. I am not gonna even attempt to try answer that. As I am too 'wrecked' to do so right now. I might just be like every other hormone-filled teenager venting out his frustration and rambling which doesn't seem to make much sense any way. But to top it all, I am having a really pathetic flu which has been bugging me for days. (which might contribute to the early demise of my brain and what-so-ever intellect that is left with it or even to the current rambling which I have been harping on). Either way, I just know that I am feeling so sicked right now. From the inside, out.

Of Friends and Family

As we are being born into this world, a family will eagerly awaits us. This family might be a newly wedded couple or even to a family of five with even siblings excitingly anticipating the arrival of their little brother or perhaps even their little sister. I am not likewise. When I was born into this world, a family of three patiently awaits me. They are my mother,father and my elder brother. Though I might be the youngest in this newly formed family of four, nevertheless I am treated with that much love and care. Like every other family, mines isn't perfect either. There are now and then quarrels and bickering of course. From time to time there are strife and so on. But we managed to patched things up too at the very end. We managed to settle our disputes and our differences. Through thick and thin they say. Yes, I have to admit we have gone through all the leaps and bound to emerge stronger. Stronger in the sense of our EQ. Wiser in our thoughts and judgements. Then there are also the usual family drama involving the three generations of the both side of my family. Both the paternal and maternal side. I am sure with both together it would put all those TV drama's in the TV to shame. Yet it comes down to one simple thing at the end. I am simply grateful and contended with my family. Sure it might be a bit rough at the edges. The shine of it rather dull. But it can be polished to be like some precious jewels someday. From a small little piece of rock into some priceless jewel, that is my family! I can't possible ask for more. There might be times I make mistakes too. There are times where I unintentionally hurt my dear family. But I am truly sorry for all the things I have done. I really cherish my family very,very much.

Friends. Our faithfully companion through out our life. How can anyone imagine life without them? Not even the world's loneliest soul will be able to stand alone. At least I know I can't. Friends can be anyone. it can be your childhood friends, your peers or even the old lady down the lane. Once a friendship is established, it's there to stay. An invisible bond tying each one of of us together. What this bond is formed of is an entirely different matter. It can be love, trust, lies, deceit and many more. It's entirely up to you to decide what your friendship is made of or rather how would you like others to see you as? I have to be honest. I am not a real sociable person nor am I the world's friendliest and warmest person. I am just me, myself. A person whom you might come across as a shy, quiet or even high-headed at times. But despite all these, that doesn't mean that i don't value my friendship with others though. I might not open up to others that easily but at least I tried. I tried my very best to help those around me. The least I can do is to be around for them if there is nothing else I can do to help. Friends. An addiction some might crave for. A seduction one might find it captivating yet lethal at the same time. A double-edge sword one might say. To all my friends out there, thank you for sticking up for me (if you have), thank you for being there for me (if you have). If you haven't it simply means that it isn't the right place, the right time or the right person , yet.


"The Mile: People come into our lives and walk with us a mile, and then because of circumstance they only stay a while. They serve a need within the days that move so quickly by, and then are gone beyond our reach, we often wonder why. God only knows the reason that we meet and share a smile, why people come into our lives and walk with us a mile."- Rick Aguas.

This year's 5th of August gotta be one of the most memorable one for me ever! Not only it marks my sixteen birthday but the very sweet gesture presented by my family and friends are really touching indeed! From greetings to gifts, really appericiate all of them!

So here are a few of my birthday thanks~

My mum for being the first and of course the earliest person to give my birthday present. Really enjoyed reading 'The Five Person You Meet In Heaven'.But can I have it back now? Aren't you done reading it? XD

To my dad and bro who both gave me their presents at the very same moment. Thanks once again! I hoped your right dad when you said the watch would signifies my comming of age because I don't feel much differernt right now you know! Bro, simply love your gift! No one other then you know me best, especially with my preferance! Hopeful I can carry out that black shirt though. >. <

Next to my beloved friends. Dear Amy,' Little Joo Joo', sweet Wen Yi and Catherine. Words cann't really express my gratitude and feelings towords all of you when all you throwed me the small but sweet little party! Thanks so much for all the gifts. The cute "Sponge Bob' doll and of course for the 'album'. ^,^

To my fellow other friends. Thanks for the 'white bag' and also not forgetting the 'white pencil case'! Not really sure who I should post this shout out to since there are so many of you all. But heck I will take a swing on it and see. Please forgive me if I missed out on anyone though! To Yu Hyuen, Siew Ying, Steve, Wang, Jord, Vj, Putra, Melissa, Wyn Nie, and Chia Leh really appericiate the bag and also with all the suprises included with it too! @_@

And of course to my fellow debating team-mates and dear friends, Mani and Ben. Really like the book that the two of you gave me. The only sad part would be that I am unable to read it right away. Sighhh... But I would read it as soon as the exams are over though. =)

Finally to every other person, thanks for all the greetings and birthday wishes! (Including the birthday songs of course, one which include it being sung through a handphone by what seem as an entire choir team at the other end! However thanks a lot guys! Hoped you all enjoy Langkawi!)

So now that a small chapter of my life has ended, it seems that another one awaits me. Though I may not know what awaits me over there. But I am sure it's a journey worth treading with my family and friends. A tale worth remenicising about!

So, till the very end guys?