a story in progress: September 2010

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Day 9

To My Dearest,

I have been waiting for you for as long I can remember. You often come into my mind as a faceless individual. Although I am unable to picture your features, your vivid warmth and comforting presence has always been synonymous to you in my reveries. I recall with the utmost fondness how I used to be awaken from my reveries of you with a silly grin on my face now and then.

I know you are somewhere out there. Waiting. Perhaps wondering as clueless as I am. I know not if you will think of me as how I think of you. But do know that, when I get to meet you, I hope to be able to make an impression on you.

I must confess to a certain extent I am in love with the idea of falling in love. To be attached and love with all my soul. There will be difficulties, downs and whatnots in our relationship, but really isn't this a key take away of every relationship? Of course, there will be the awfully sweet and cheesy moments as well. Nonewithstanding, I promise to cherish you and keep in mind what matters the most.

Essentially, what truly matters is the journey and memories made, no? The destination is very much an added bonus to me.

So to us, I look forward to the day where you will enter into my life.

With love,
Yours

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Kuro

a glossy night sky

abuzz with revelries

setting about a twang

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Of Current Updates

Okay there is a need to blog at least one post on my current updates at here. It's now the sixth week of my academic calendar and I just realized there has been scant posts about what I am currently up to. My previous posts have been somewhat vague on it.

Come to think about it, haven't I always been this vague with my postings? Oh well, I shall be unreserved and straightforward now and then when I feel like it. Wtf, right?

Anyway, back to what I am currently up to. For those who don't know, I am currently a freshmen at SMU's School of Business, Singapore. I am taking up to five modules this semester. In total they only make up to 4 units worth of Credit Units. I need up to 36 units in this 4 years time to graduate with a Bachelor in Business Management. If I am planing to take up a double major or a double degree (both possibilities which seem rather distant and far off right now) naturally, I will need to take up more credit units.

Although I am currently undergoing my sixth academic week, (we only have up to 15 weeks per semester) I only have a vague idea of what is going on.. I mean I get the working culture here, with the late nights, multi tasking, juggling of CCA's (clubs and societies that is) with group meetings, datelines, assignments, presentations and whatnots, academic wise I can only tell people so far as to what my subjects are.

Content wise, I am still trying to figure them out. I mean I have Financial Accounting. That is something solid. I am taking up other mods like Technology and World Change, Creative Thinking, Analytical Skills and Business, Government and Societies as well. In which so far, they have been rather vague? I don't know. I get the usefulness and the values they are trying to impart, but I am still wishing for something more tangible? Lol. I don't get myself at times.

Compared to some of my fellow freshmen, they are literally slogging with some of the others mods. I am relatively "free" when I am put on the same pedestal as them. I keep telling myself and others that I will suffer in epic karma-tic proportions for my subsequent semesters.

Enough bout academic stuff, I shall talk about the livelihood in here. As expected, the city state has been so far a pleasant experience. Streets are safe, transportation are systematic and so on. I really don't have to reiterate what people already know bout Singapore right? On the other hand, stuffs that some might find it interesting to note are that, the staple food in here has to be chicken rice. I find it everywhere. At food courts and basically every corner of the street there is bound to be chicken rice. Even at Little India. Which I find that to be rather ironic. The price of stuff here isn't that bad as well, if I don't keep mentally converting every price tag that I see back to Ringgit Malaysia. Wtf. Such a bad habit. Cause then I will be like, asking myself how much can I get that plate of chicken rice back home? How much does that milo and cookies cost in RM? Invariably, I will arrive at the painful conclusion that stuff at home is cheaper and that I need to save up more at here. Wtf. I hate the meager spending power.

Besides that, another thing to note about the social setting at here is that at my uni, there are quite a number of international students. I have so far come across people from various nations. No kidding when they say, at SMU, one get to find every single South East Asia countries to be represented. In a way I get to learn a lot more from them as well as clearing my bigotry. Make no mistake, I am that daft at times.

Awesome people asides, the side activities are very rampant as well. I recall donating blood at the school's blood donation drive for the first time in my life when I was only at Singapore roughly about the second or third week. There so many opportunities to nitpick from. Conferences, info talks, luncheons, high teas (free food!), and many more. Really, time management is a serious issue that I need to re-examine in my life. I need to be more efficient and less forgetful to manage my time. I need a better diary planner. Goddamnit. (why are the ones here so expensive ah?)

All in all, my time spent so far at here really prove my expectations. And to be wholly honest, certain areas were way exceeding my preconceived notions. In a good sense that is. Hence, I really look forward to my next three and a three quarter years of education at SMU. How could I ever think that four years for a degree in Business Management can be a tad too much in the past? How gullible.

I will stop myself at here for tonight. I do believe I have been outright forward with my thoughts and experience so far in this post. Something that I need to do more in my future postings. I know.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Day 7

Dear Y,

Initially, our interactions can be liken to a love/hate thing. I recall with the utmost fondness how you wrote for one of my Birthday greeting that "at times I like you for everything, at times I hate you for everything". I am not the sort to hold grudges, but I am still able to recall that till today because it perfectly sums up my thoughts on you at that moment as well.

Fast forward to a year or two later, I now find myself in an unforeseen circumstance. In almost every social and academic events, you were there. It took me an incredibly long period of time to take notice of, but something between us have changed. It has changed for the better. I would say we have grown so comfortable in each other's presence and attitude that at times, no exchange of words were necessary. No formalities nor pleasantries were needed as well. Because we can be that candid with each other.

Hence, it is through this letter I pledge to maintain our candidness no matter where we may be or how old we may turn out next time. I wish you all the best in your undertakings and do spare some thoughts on me as how I would spare some on you especially on those bitter sweet days of reminiscing the joys of past.

Affectionately,
Yours

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Illness

What does it mean to fall sick in a foreign land? Detach of the familiar environment and people who have always been there for you. One ends up going through this wallowing in self pity stage to a severe case of homesickness. But thankfully, it does not end right there and then. One will (eventually) see the light at the end of the tunnel . That is when, one realizes that he isn't truly in solitude. Not in the strictest sense at least. Family and friends are in fact just a call away. A plethora of pictures and updates on Facebook are also there to remind oneself of his roots.

As it turns out, it ain't so bad to fall sick after all. It serves as a gentle reminder/wake up call to oneself - of the things that truly matter.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Re: Wanderlust

Swiped from We are Living Photography

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Day 19

Dear Malaysia,

I do not like commenting on you. Especially through this means. It has always been a personal belief of mine to refrain myself (at times with great difficulties) from writing about you. May it be at this blogsphere or other forms of media. For I believe too much has been said about you at times. The good. The bad or the outright ugly. I have heard and read them all. Which is why I do not like to lend my voice to the already overcrowded, suffocating and noisy landscape that is unfortunately plaguing you. Hence, this will be a rare once in a blue moon sort of thing.

Besides the aforementioned reasons, I am quite daft you see. I am unable to phrase myself eloquently enough to capture what my heart truly believe in. For most of the times, I really do believe in the four letter word being the best response that I can come up with. No kidding. I am also sadly an uneducated pariah when it comes to your policies, runnings and whatnots. However, I do hope to improve my understanding of the science behind your governance and rationalization in the near future.

If I have to come up with a main point in writing this letter, it would be to satisfy my whimsical whim of writing a entry about you for the sake of writing itself. At here I wish to bring up something that I feel strongly about. It may not be politically accurate nor is it a serious academic point of view that needs to be taken seriously.

First of, a bit more on myself. I am currently not residing at your place. For the first time, in my nineteen years of life, I am leaving you to reside somewhere else. I am currently residing at your southern brethren for the purpose of furthering my education. Do not read too much into my decision to leave your shores to take up abode else where. Do not feel insulted for me choosing another's education instead of yours as well. Really, it's not you with the problem. It's me. I am unable to cope with your current public institution hence the need for me to find alternatives.

As for the conventional wisdom of advising me to reside here even after I have completed my studies, I honestly do not know the answer to that. 'Cause I have not given much thoughts on it. Another fine example of me being that daft. However, I would like to think I am the sort of person that is both practical and sentimental. A paradox. That much I am aware of.

But still, I would definitely like to base all of my present and future decision on the economical viability of the situation that I am facing. Unless, we are really that altruistic, let's face it, in a way all of our main priority is filling our own needs and wants first. But here comes the sentimental part. I absolutely detest being a purely effective economic unit. Thus, I would like to be identify my future undertakings on what I strongly believe in.

And what is it that I strongly believe in you may ask? A sense of familiarity. I am fond of my family. I am fond of my friends. I am fond of root and heritage. Evidently, you currently have all of that right now. Although, I don't often sing praises about you in public or that I occasionally take part in those sporadic bashing of you, do know I still feel a surge of pride when never I am being identified for what I am. I am a Malaysian banana who converse in English, Malay and various Chinese dialects. I am both a "jaguh kampung" and a "glocal" with the mindset of a "jakun".

Honestly, while I am writing this I am yet to come to terms what you really stand for in my heart. But like my faith, you will always have a special spot in it. It isn't something I can easily sell or market to people. (Not that I see the need to do so in the first place) But that does not devalue you in any sense.

For the years to come, I forsee myself still struggling with an answer. So I ask for your patience. For the day, when I stop being such a daft and begin picking up the pieces for you instead.

Sincerely,
Yours

a story in progress