Dear CK,
It is indeed refreshing to talk to you today. Somewhere between class and the distance for dinner struck a thought in me. We haven't been talking with each other as much as I would like to. A part of me do wonder, what would have happened if I have taken that leap of faith back then. Would things still stayed the same? I doubt anything would come out of it, but I am still very glad at where we stand today. Work, studies or even just plain nonsense are things that I am confident that I can turn to you just about anytime.
Warmest Regards,
Yours
Friday, September 30, 2011
Day 10
Sunday, September 18, 2011
I Had No Life or So I Thought
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| Snipped from: http://asdfghjkllove.tumblr.com/ |
It has been more than a month ever since the new school term began. And truth be told, half of the time, I am either angsty over some issues or being dead tired. I knew when the new term began, I am to start my sophomore year with an increased workload and additional responsibilities, yet somewhere along the lines, everything around me seems to be crashing. I was barely catching up with school work. Dealing with miscommunication and people issues drained me. There were also those late nights, that subsequently went on to be caffeine powered mornings.
Ranting was something I did a lot. Whether it was on this personal space or to a few friends of mine. A recurring thought that hit during the entire episode, was the need to disappear. I wanted to vanish to obscurity so badly. I wanted to be in a place where I didn't have to wake up cursing that I slept through my alarm, or seized by a moment of panic each time I opened my email. I didn't want to feel guilty for not updating others on Facebook or even responding to their text messages.
Amid all the backlogs, I started to call home more frequently that I normally would. Each time I spoke to my Mum, that thought of "I miss you and home so badly that I want to come back now" in my head kept screaming for attention and to be brought out of silence.
But no silence was broken. Instead, things went on as it is and I went on being angsty and tired most of the time.
Now looking back.. I don't know where the solutions to the above problems came about. Or even if such matters were resolved in the first place. But somehow, 5 weeks after everything has began, I am finding my equilibrium. Those late nights and caffeine powered mornings are becoming increasingly infrequent. My sleep debt is somewhat repaid. Emails and updates are accounted for.
I do know someday all of these will be worth it. And for that, I think I will be waking up to each day with a greater sense of anticipation and a little bit of joy. Fingers crossed.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Spirited Away
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| Whisked away under that bright blue sky; even as the world around you seems to be crashing into pieces, there is something inexorably about this moment.. that makes everything, a tad more bearable than it can be. |
Monday, September 5, 2011
Stop.Start.Continue
I need to stop searching for that moment of validation. I am at this stage of the cycle where the marginal utility gained no longer seemed to matter. I know when I am starting to have these thoughts; of stopping right in my tracks and fleeing to obscurity, my priorities have since changed.
A senior and a friend would probably say, "Look into one's self causation and remedy it" , but I would then be thinking to myself, "How far I have walked only to find myself, unable to see it as it or even as it should be".
It's 2.47 and I am being delirious. But doing this much relives me of my present state of self. Even if it's just a fraction of it.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Motivating Self and Others
REQUISITES TO MOTIVATE
- We have to be Motivated to Motivate
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Motivation requires a goal - Motivation once established, does not last if not repeated
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Motivation requires Recognition -
Participation has motivating effect - Seeing ourselves progressing Motivates us
- Challenge only motivates if you can win
- Everybody has a motivational fuse i.e. everybody can be motivated
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Group belonging motivates
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I Quote
If we can love someone so much- how will we be able to handle it the one day when we are seperated? And, if being seperated is a part of life, and you know about seperation well…is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them? At the same time I was wondering if it is possible that, we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all?
Mew in Love of Siam
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Update
For the past one month and a half I have been -
Touring around schools in Bangkok to conduct workshops on ASEAN
Exploring and learning the unknowns of a foreign country
Having a time of my life mamasan-ing a
Inducted into a new fun loving family
And not forgetting to celebrate my twentieth birthday by simply living my life to the max!
Cheers everyone!
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