a story in progress

Snipped from: http://asdfghjkllove.tumblr.com/

It has been more than a month ever since the new school term began. And truth be told, half of the time, I am either angsty over some issues or being dead tired. I knew when the new term began, I am to start my sophomore year with an increased workload and additional responsibilities, yet somewhere along the lines, everything around me seems to be crashing. I was barely catching up with school work. Dealing with miscommunication and people issues drained me. There were also those late nights, that subsequently went on to be caffeine powered mornings.

Ranting was something I did a lot. Whether it was on this personal space or to a few friends of mine. A recurring thought that hit during the entire episode, was the need to disappear. I wanted to vanish to obscurity so badly. I wanted to be in a place where I didn't have to wake up cursing that I slept through my alarm, or seized by a moment of panic each time I opened my email. I didn't want to feel guilty for not updating others on Facebook or even responding to their text messages.

Amid all the backlogs, I started to call home more frequently that I normally would. Each time I spoke to my Mum, that thought of "I miss you and home so badly that I want to come back now" in my head kept screaming for attention and to be brought out of silence.

But no silence was broken. Instead, things went on as it is and I went on being angsty and tired most of the time. 

Now looking back.. I don't know where the solutions to the above problems came about. Or even if such matters were resolved in the first place. But somehow, 5 weeks  after everything has began, I am finding my equilibrium. Those late nights and caffeine powered mornings are becoming increasingly infrequent. My sleep debt is somewhat repaid. Emails and updates are accounted for. 

I do know someday all of these will be worth it. And for that, I think I will be waking up to each day with a greater sense of anticipation and a little bit of joy. Fingers crossed.