a story in progress

August is finally here, and I am still as clueless as ever. It can be so irksome at times when people ask me questions that I have no actual answer to them. Like - where are you studying after this? What course will you be doing? Hayioo, why you don't want to go oversea? What you wanna become next time if study that?

Swear to God, I find the whole thing to be so vexing at times that, I don't know why I get so annoyed anymore when confronted with such questions. Is it because, the people who ask them aren't genuinely sincere in knowing my progress and that their merely being ke pohs? Or that asking such questions has become such a mechanical formality to the extent, every now and then, there is a need to reinstate such questionings? Part of the annoyance can also be credited to the simple fact that I have NO real answers to them.

1. Yes, I am hoping to get into one of the Singapore Unis namely, NTU or SMU.
2. No, I do not know what course I will be doing there. The whole admission thing still hinges on my A Level results which will be out in about 11 days or so. But if you insist on knowing, it will most likely be a degree in business or accounting. Definitely, in the commerce line.
3. Yes, I have considered other options of studying elsewhere prior to this. I have taken into account of studying at UK, US, Australia and even Cannada for that matter.
4. No, I do not have the sort of money nor the financial means to sustain my edu at those countries.
5. No, I do not know what I will become in the future. Probably an accountant if I don't go to Singapore as I will be doing my ACCA in Malaysia instead.
6. No, it doesn't get any clearer than this.

Let it be know that, though I have a penchant of recycling the above as replies when attacked with mind numbing questions of my plans, track and whatnot, those are NOT my real answers. I wish I can take the time to explain to the mass public on the ongoing dilemma I am battling everyday in my head. Of the Art stream against Science stream argument. Of the dichotomy between choosing a solid career prospect or a 3 years of university life which will the crucial shaping point of my life.

Really, I do wish I am able to take the time to work up the courage to divulge all of my fears, insecurities and misconceptions to those pesky people. But I don't. For most of the time that's that. My answers to such questions usually end at no. 5.

Now that I have all of that cleared up, it's really time for me to nurse myself back to health. I have never been this sick since my secondary schooling days.