a story in progress

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

A Moment Like This

There will be a point in time, where all the KPIs in the world and achievements will fall short to a single element. An element of self satisfaction; that peculiar sense of fulfillment encapsulate a complex array of emotions raging from being glad that it's over, being happy that no major hiccup or screw ups happened, feeling immensely proud of seeing how others are happy over seemingly straight forward stuffs such as printed t-shirts, black pepper chickens and blue passports measuring 120 by 80 to wishing things could be done better with the external speakers, welfare of the organizing committee, conference agendas and whatnot.

XPrep Conference: Experience the Change (02 April 2011)

I would be the first to admit that through out these two months leading to the conference, I bitched a lot. From all things small to big, I was critical, grumpy and worse of all I was harboring to the point of being a Financial Nazi that would have made Ebenezer Scrooge a happy father if he had me as a son. But looking back, I do think that it was this very green, foreign learning journey for all of us at the organizing committee side that gave this experience its particular twist of essence.

Hence, to all, thank you. For bearing with me and also for making this a success.

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Days Ahead

I am at this point of my life, taking on different roles of leadership and responsibilities. I am no longer accountable to myself solely. I have to look out for others at a micro and macro level. From being accountable for their well being, growth and delivery of results to the long term strategic planning process.

In the past, I have had thought about this before. Imagining myself to be in that position of power. Wondering how it will be like to have others looking to me for direction and instructions. The very idea of being in that position to inspire and influence others actually exhilarated me.

Now that I am finally here - in that position of power, I feel the utmost weight of solemnity. The need to balance one's aspiration with the expectation to deliver. The need to see the far ahead and act upon it.But somewhere amid all these feelings, that spark of exhilaration is still there.

The terms ahead will not be an easy one. But hopefully it will also be one of the best ones that I will go through during my undergraduate days.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Untitled

I need to blog. Even if I have no specific subject in mind as I am typing this. Disparate thoughts are running through my. This is week 8 of my academic term. The mid-term break. But there isn't a break. There is something happening or going on each day. I am camping in school so much so that I am now making a sub-conscious attempt to stay back at school from the morning till night. Even if when it's not necessary to do so in the first place. But this isn't sad though. It's poignant at worst, amusing at best. Because in some strange, mystical way I am beginning to feel at ease with the prolonged duration spent at school. It could be the people in it. Or it could be the stuff that I do. Either way I am relishing the moment.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Day 29

Dear Everyone,

I wish I can just pluck the courage and take that leap of faith. But the fact is I am just too contented with status quo.

So do allow me the indulgence. Even if it's a self perpetuating thing.

Thankyouverymuch.

Sincerely,
Yours

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I Quote

The doll is the girl’s special plaything; this shows her instinctive bent towards her life’s
work. [. . .] she sees her doll, she cannot see herself; she cannot do anything for herself,
she has neither the training, nor the talent, nor the strength; as yet she herself is nothing;
she is engrossed in her doll and all her coquetry is devoted to it. This will not always be
so; in due time she will become her own doll.

(Rousseau, Emile 1762: 421–422)

Friday, January 21, 2011

Uninformed Optimism?

At week 3 of my term 2 academic calendar, life cannot be any more happening. (note the sarcasm/irony) The past week was most unkind to me. I was sick. On top of it, I was and still am trying to catch up on my lessons with the usual mix of CCA, meetings, group projects and other misc, stuff to attend to.

Despite me being in my all time vulnerable self, things did not seem so bad this time around. I recall myself feeling much crappier last term when I was hit by a similar plague of illness composing of flu, cough, fever and sore throat amidst all the other stuff I had to attend to. Perhaps I am at my final stages of normalizing to the culture here. The only time where I wasn't occupied with something is me trying to catch as much sleep as possible.

I am much aware of how in the coming weeks things will only be more uphill than ever. With 5 full modules to handle this semester including the notoriously time and effort consuming LTB (Leadership and Team Building) and AW (Academic Writing) mods to look out for, I am surprisingly not pessimistic about things in general. Contrast to how I would normally be. I am begining to think that I am even somewhat optimistic about how things will unfold. This is of course particularly dangerous according to one of my prof's theory.

Shahi.G (2010) Proactively Managing Change - Understanding the Pessimism Time Curve, Bio Business Asia 2004

For I could be stuck at the hopeless stage of uninformed optimism where I might not be fully aware of the risks I am currently undertaking.

But at this point of my life, I am just too shagged and consumed to think about which stage I am at currently or how I will potentially slide bottom in the pessimism-time curve at any time of the day. I will keep note of this. For a freer day perhaps.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dream It, Live It

Snipped from AIESEC Singapore

All is fine. Initial blurness aside, all is not for naught. I have seen the bigger picture. For in the end something sweet always awaits.