a story in progress

As I was walking back from a late dinner/supper, I was hit with a sudden thought - if I were to run into a road accident at that very moment, what will happen to me? Would by-standers reached for my phone to call anyone in my phonebook? But they wouldn't know the password to my phone to do that anyway. Would they search my wallet for any emergency contact information? I doubt so. My wallet do not usually carry such information. Then it dawned to me that the only logical thing that would if I am to be invovled in a road accident would be some kind soul (hopefully) calling the ambulance and I will be sent there for whatever emergency treatment that is to follow. The hospital or police will probably follow up accordingly from there by contacting my school as that would be the only lead that they will have (in the situation that I remain unconscious or rendered incapable of making any decision on my course of treatment).

Following the above train of thought, how long will it take for my parents to be contacted? Possibly within the next 24 hours? I tremble at the very thought of my parents receiving that phonecall. Would they panic? How would my mum receive the news especially? I really don't want her to freak out. From a self-centred point of view I wouldn't want to be the cause of any heartbreaks for her as it is.

This is a rather peculiar topic to blog about especially after a peiod of absence from this space, but thinking about the above really struck a chord within me. I had to act upon this thought. I need to get this out my system somehow. So I am choosing to write it here. Articulating this thought in words would be easier in my mind than having to have some very random (and not to mention awkwardly morbid topic) with some of my friends. Calling my parents at the midnight was definitely out of the picture too. I do not see myself having  this conversation with my family at any time of the day.

But the fact remains from this random outburst of thought would be that I need to sort out my affairs in a more fastidious manner. I will probably need to review the idea of having a legal guardian in Singapore, my insurance policy (my current policy by the school has an absurdly myopic coverage that it would probably be insufficient to even cover any cases beyond that of a flu bug) to having some form of contingency plan outlined for others to execute on my behalf.

Thinking about these thoughts made me realized that I am inadequately prepared for anything beyond my daily routine. Leaving the horrible idea of getting involved in a road accident, should I be hit by some urgent medical condition or other form of accidents, the above sequence of panic would probably follow suit as well.

I have always took pride of how I have exercised my sense of responsibility given the freedom/independence that I have been enjoying ever since I left home for further studies. But being aware of how much control I have over my life is also very frightening at the same time especially in times where I am no longer in control or in situations where I am rendered incapable to decide for myself. It's also during such time that I really feel how alone and powerless one can be in the face of uncertainty.

Keeping to the faith that the best is yet to come!

So it has been awhile since I last wrote anything in this space. To be frank, within these past 5 months I barely visited this blog or any other blogs that I used to follow either. I could say that I was busy but a more truthful answer would be that I have actually moved on from the blogging sphere. I used to write in order to document those moments that I figured would be worth mentioning or when never I felt like ranting out those angsty moments without really confiding to my current social circle (bearing in mind that this blog is after a dead space with few visitors/known friends). But those two reasons seemed to fall out of favour for either shorter rants through Twitter or even sporadic postings on Facebook. This seems to corrospond to the overall trend of more instant (some may call it lazy) form of communication.

So a better question to ask in this case would be why don't I just kill off this blog? Is it relevant in my life? Will I want to write more in the future?

I think yes.. Yes I would like to still keep this outlet open for when never and wherever I will be at my life. I can be studying or occupying myself with my ECA. I may even  be working then dealing with whatever I will need to deal with. But it will always be comforting to know that I still have this space aptly entitled a story in progress.

So today I am making a decision. I am deciding to keep this blog and hopefully be more ferequent in filling up this space with more stories of my muse and angst. From 2006 to whatever years that are to come, a cheers to you - my readers (who ever you are) and to myself.