a story in progress

Within hours everything will soon be revealed..... Alas the day is finally here! It seemed as if it was only yesterday I went to Popular bookstore to get my first copy of the Harry Potter novel..... Though it may sound cheesy or even as if it was a rehearsed script but nevertheless this is how I am currently feeling..... Nostalgic, a sense of euphoria and so on.... The first thing in the morning and I will be able to lay my hands on those hardcovers consisting hundred and hundreds of pages waiting to be read! Hahaha.....

But till then, I gotta keep myself busy with all the works piling around me waiting to be read,type,writen all over and so on..... I suppose there won't be an end to all this! Then again, strangely I am at ease with my current situation..... Felt as if I had everything undert control..... Perhaps others might say I am the verge of a nervous break down or of some sort (which is partially true however.... coz of late I was kinda...... agitated I suppose) but still I am completely fine,okay!

That si it for now I guess..... Gotta get on with that working papers of mine or else I wouldn't have time to read The Deathly Hollows!

Of late felt as if I have been on a roller coaster ride..... With all the up and downs in life its kinda hard not to compare it to roller coaster right? Sigh..... At times it seem that I am barely keeping up with life itself..... So many things happening at the same time..... And everytime how I yearn to just write them down somewhere..... Let it be in this blog or even just in the old-fashioned method..... With paper and ink of course! But strangely, it hardly turns out that way though..... Ever wonder why?

From problems at home all the way to school.... It seem almost foolish of me to wonder why life couldn't be much more simpler.... As far,far away as possible from all these conflicts and discords.....

For the past weeks, life at home for me is almost unbearable.... Had several arguments and rows with my mum.... After the first two argument, I just stop arguing with her.... It has been all her way since then.... She does all the talking and lecturing.... No matter how unreasonably or unfair it was.... Just maintained my silence.... Truth to be told I knew she only did that because she cared bout me.... Especially for my future and education..... But how I wish at times you just understand how I felt deep down inside! There are so many things I kept locked in my heart.... But that doesn't mean you can just ignore my feelings! I knew it was pointless to argue with her.... Not now at least..... Perhaps when the time is finally here, only then I will be taking a stand.... Till then.... I really hoped the both of us can understand each other more.... Perhaps on why did we disagree on certain matters....

Other than that, life at school ain't that 'sweet' nor 'peaceful' either.... It always the same old problem.... They never seem to be resolved do they? Well, I am afraid when there is no solution for such matter, we just gotta put a brave front and stick up to it to the end (if there is an end to it) Supports from friends and so on may ease the burden a bit or even making the whole journey pleasurable if not worthwhile at least.....

My thoughts for now?

Lost...confuse...deprived...depressed...hopeful...

Winter Rain by Lim Kar-Men


The cold piercing of winter,
Brought about the coolness of the raindrops,
Reflects a series of clairvoyance,
Deep within the hallow body,
Lies the heart and soul burried,
Within the layers of snow,
The Disember sky is of a sombre mood,
As if it knew,
The rain would fall on winter's eve,
Alone I stood,
Admist this winter rain,
Crossing my hearts with oaths and memories,
Only to find myself desperately,
Thawing a path through this winter rain.

Summer Snow by Lim Kar-Men

Were it to snow on a summer day,
Would that be of any suprise?
If there were,
Does it mean?
The weather may change,
But so do promises?
Snow might not cover the Jully sky,
But my heart is filled with it,
Long gone are those summer days,
Fillled with so much warmth and tenderness,
The weather now is but a mess,
Snowing even when its summer,
I can only await silently for the sands of time,
To put an end to this summer snow.

Been quite long ain'it? Well loads to tell.... But then again.... It's never that simple ain' it? Must find the right mood,the right time and so on.... Sigh....

Anyway, these are the highlights or recaps of what had happen so far.... For the last week it has really been busy for the whole drama team which of course consist of the actors,actress and the prop people! On the 2nd of July was the district level.... Triumph over the other 9 teams of Kuala Muda/Yan to advance to the state level! Which is held in SAHC (Sultan Abdul Hamid College),Alor Star today!! At the end which we won 'of course'! Next level is the national level at Langkawi on the 5th of August till the 9th of August.... You guys better try your best,yea?

Other then that there hasn't been much going on.... Unless you take account of the school's preparation for the Hari Anugerah.... Besides that there is the usual going on here and there.... Human conflict.... Politics.... Work.... And of course a bit of craziness here and there.... Like usual.... Nothing new....


But despite all that, another matter I also took notice of is our very own human nature.... What happens when you pair a bunch of guys or gals in a place for a specific purpose or for a common goal? Lets say for example working as a team for a competition... What happen if these people as individuals has a different opinion or saying in a particular manner? Would that be a clash of human conflicts? That s what I have learned so far during my days in the debating team and also part of the drama... Yea.... You can say that this kind of things are bound to happen or even its the flow of life itself.... But somehow.... I cann't help but to think.... Aren't all these so superficial? Clinging on to a mere thread of similarities.... At the same time, to being able to emerge from all these turmoil unscathed... Wouldn't that be great? Happens not only in a team but also in our very own comunnity and society.... So very,very tiresome ....

What to do?

Hey guys!! Uploaded all these with a goal in my mind! That is to keep this everlasting or sweet memories in one way or another which I will never forget! At least not in the long run,yeah? As I upload them.... I am filled with so many feelings within me.... Joy,excitment,relieve and so on..... Remember the old saying where a picture tells a thousand tales? Well in this case it is definetly true!!!

And oh yeah, Amy..... Not really sure if you still remember a not but..... I once posted in your blog comenting on your 'sweet memories'..... It goes something like this-

lol..
really love all those all pics...
u can really call them ur sweet memories..
unfortunately i dont have dat much pics of myself or with any1 for dat matter..
i doubt i even have that much 'sweet memories' also..
well i suppose i gotta look harder for them in the future..
don't u think so?
lolz...

Well, I can now proudly say that.... I have found parts of my sweet everlasting memories!!!

And to my dear Joo Joo ah.... Wish you a fast recovery yeah? Next time dont be worried or anything of that sort.... Just let us know ok? We will be there for you as you have always been there for us!

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow
Just walk beside me and be my friends

Let me start this by stating.... I am back!!! Quite fast ain't it? Without realization, it has been already 5 days or so since I last updated this blog.... Before this I was like expressing my eagerness in getting myself to Sarawak and all that.... But here I am.... Once again, in front of my computer screen, busy taiping the keyboard while listening to those very familiar songs of mines over and over again.....

Now to get into business.... Long story cut short.... Our debating consisting of Ben,Putra,Vj,Mani and myself lost in the quater finals to Selangor.... The last wasn't because we were horrible or outright stupid.... Rather the judges incompetence was the main reason we lost.... The result was 3-2.... Apparently out of the 16 teams participating.... The Kedahan's were the only ones to actually uphold and adhere to the parlimentary style debate.... I repeat.... Parlimentary style debate!!

When the result was anounced, we were in a total satate of denial and disbelief.... Ben and Vj were like so blur together.... Mani and Putra broke into tears.... I was just somehow depressed in a state where I just sat there at my place for the next one hour or so.... If we had lost to a better team.... That I supposed it wouldn't be so depressive..... But for once the losing team which is us once again.... The so-called-farmers were actually getting the whole support from the crowd which mainly consisted of boys from St Joshep and St Thomas.... Everyone were expecting us to win!!!

Sighhhhh..... Guess it wasn't meant for us anyway.... The bright side from this would be? Well.... At least we had time for us to actually enjoy our remaining two days in Kuching.... Went sight-seeing at all sorts of places over there.... Bought plenty of stuffs over there.... Meet loads of other crazy debaters throughout Malaysia.... Everyone were like so friendly and warm each other.... And of course this went really well especially for Putra and Vj.... Had a chance to see them party-ing through out all day and night!

By the way.... Just in case anyone is intrested, the Sabah team won over the Selangor team at the finals to emerge as the national champion.... To be honest all of us felt they deserve it compared to the Selangor's.... To be honest, they were good in their very own way.... You know being polish and polite throughout the debate... That honestly deserve some credit!

The final day of debate itself was ended with a prize giving ceremony and also he usual formalities which are speeches and performances by the stuents of course.... AT least that went on quite well compared to having to witness the others debate.... After that most teams went to the airport.... Nost of us actually chnaged in the airports.... I mean lets be realistic over here.... Will you wear your uniform in a international airport? Hahaha......

So in a nutshell.... This trip wasn't what I expected it to be..... It was WAY much better than I expected! Even though we lost..... We lost with our pride intact..... Managed to meet with people from all walks of life..... Making friends as we go a long.... In fact the sad part wasn't us losing or some sort.... Its the thought of this being the last part of all of us in a team debating..... For Mani, she kept on saying her debating carrier has come to an end while ours were at a standstill for now..... Yea.... That was the saddest part in this trip for me....

However I would also like to post a shou out to everyone here.... Whom had supported us the whole debating team,even at the very begining of debate itself.....
To our dear Sir,Pn Jac,the H.M.,the ex-debaters,the researchers and of course the supporters themselves!
Mum,dad and bro....Thank you for being there for me!
Friends, you guys gave me that much emotional support to carry on with debate!
And lastly to my teammates, Putra,Ben,Vj and Mani..... You guys will always have a special place in my heart...The time we spent together will never be forgotten or the least burried deep within me....

From here,I sincerely bid everyone the very best in the future.... Remember,everything happened with a reason.... May you find the sliver lining from the within itself!


Quotes to share:

"It has been a journey of experience,
A journey filled with nostalgic,
A journey worth telling over and over again."

(As quoted by the very pioneer of Parlimentary stlye debate himself, YAB Datuk Panglima Wira Abdul Arshad)